The Wedding: In Review

Soooooo Jeff and I totally got married two weeks ago. And it was AWESOME. Seriously. It's very different to experience a wedding when it's actually your wedding, and I might be a little bit biased, but I think we had one of the most go-with-the-flow, relaxed, personalized and fun parties ever. Which pleases me greatly because that's exactly the kind of vibe we were going for from the very beginning.

We've all been to the weddings that run like clockwork: there's the conventional ceremony with all the proper rituals and formal behavior, then you go to the cocktail hour and you're greeted with the typical spread of hors d'oeurves, and then it's time to eat so you tuck in to a plate that consists of a piece of meat (usually dry), some kind of potato item and a pile of non-descript, unseasoned veggies (and the food is never hot enough, am I right?). And then there's a DJ who announces the bridal party and the newlyweds, followed by a nice slow dance from the happy couple. And then everybody dances and then goes home at the end of the night.

These weddings are awesome and I always enjoy attending them, but that wasn't the kind of party we wanted for ourselves. We wanted to strip our wedding of the formalities, emphasize the food, drinks and music/dancing, and incorporate elements that were fun and made sense for us. We didn't want to feel like we were being directed through a series of tasks or events throughout the day- we wanted to feel like we were at a super-kickass summer party with all of our most beloved family and friends (where we just happened to be the guests of honor).

So here's what we did:


Walkin' with muh dad

-We kept the ceremony short and simple. Our close friend, Jason, officiated and he created a very sweet and offbeat ceremony for us. We elected not to have a bridal party, but found ways to honor and include those people most important to us-- Jeff processed in with our grandmas on either arm, my mom processed in with Jeff's parents (I obviously walked in with my dad), my brother played the acoustic guitar as we walked in, my best friend Molly did a reading (non-religious; she read Paul Newman's letter to his wife on their wedding day), Jeff's younger brother Ryan handed off our rings, and we asked our older siblings to give speeches during the reception. In this way, we were able to include each member of our families in a way that was very specific and special.
 
-We put all our money into food, drinks and music (okay, and photography to capture it all). Seriously... like pretty much all of it. Food is very important to me- I've learned over the years that it's very much how I show my affection for people and it was always a big part of how my family operated as I was growing up (we always sat down for dinner together, and the preparing and eating of meals was/is always the centerpiece of any Tiballi family get-together). I wanted the food at our wedding to reflect what we love, make people smile, and be satisfying. So we had a big ol' BBQ with all the fixin's, there was a hotdog bar with all sorts of fun toppings (and tater tots!!!), and all the appetizers during the cocktail hour were inspired by "childhood favorites", including apple butter and fluff finger sandwiches, chicken tenders with various dipping sauces, and pigs in a blanket (of course). And DAMN did that food go fast! Also, there was an ice cream truck-- our guests were lined up around the building and many went back to the truck for seconds! It was the perfect treat on such a hot day and I think it added a lot of whimsy and personality to the reception. We provided our own booze for the open bar and tried to have as wide a selection as possible for our guests-- 9 different kinds of beer and nearly every kind of liquor you could think of. The bar was hoppin' all night and Jeff did several shots with the menfolk early in the night. And the band.... oh, the band! We hired "Something Else", Rochester's best cover band (and friends of ours in real life) to rock the house and boy did they! I busted a move to nearly every single song they played and it seemed like our guests were totally loving them all night-- the dance floor was crowded, the bystanders were getting a kick out of watching us go crazy on the dance floor, and they played all of our favorite songs (including quirky ones like "A Whole New World"- which is always hilarious, the theme from "Fresh Prince of Bel Air", "Bohemian Rhapsody"- did I mention there's only 3 musicians?, and "Time of my Life" from Dirty Dancing... which I did the leap from and totally wonked out my calf muscle in the process- WORTH IT).



Tasty yum-yums



I shall have all the flavors, please!

-We didn't go too crazy on the DIY projects. I knew from the start that I didn't want to have too much *stuff* to have to set-up and tear-down, because I didn't want to create any extra unnecessary work (and therefore, pressure) for us on the wedding day. My sister graciously offered to whip up some homemade felt garlands to decor the outdoor ceremony area, which was awesome and ended up being super-festive. Other than that, I basically just had the florist do centerpieces for the reception tables and hired a balloon guy I work with at Geva to throw some balloons in the park to help people find their way to and from the ceremony site. I did take some time in the week leading up to the wedding to make the seating assignment boards and the table "numbers" (which were actually movie posters that I printed out and framed). I also busted out a few handmade wooden signs to help direct guests. But that was pretty much it as far as DIY projects go. Now anyone who knows me knows that I like to be crafty and take on all sorts of projects, but I was very happy to not overwhelm myself with a huge list of DIY projects for this wedding. There was plenty to do without worrying about crafting every little detail myself- I think I would have had many meltdowns if I had pressured myself to do that. Instead, I only took on those few pieces that I thought would really matter (the signage was necessary to ensure that people knew where they were going, and the table/seating stuff was very specific to our interests so we had to personalize them ourselves) and happily paid other people to take care of the rest of the minimal decor. I didn't have a lot of "we HAVE to have this" things on my list to begin with, so it was a lot easier to manage my expectations when it came to the details of the decor. Smartest thing I did during this whole process, by far. And I was stoked with how everything looked on the day-of, so having more stuff totally wouldn't have been necessary (regardless of what Pinterest wants brides to believe).

Awesome 80s movie poster "table numbers"




Original poem on the back of said awesome movie poster "table numbers"

No matter what I do, I can't seem to rotate this image. Blerg.

-We didn't take anything too seriously on the day-of and we lived in the moment as much as possible. Sure there were a couple of things that I noticed that could have gone a little smoother (I missed the perfect photo-op that I had wanted of my dad seeing me in my dress for the first time because the guys were in a rush to get ready and busted into the hotel room before we knew what was happening, I was 20 minutes late meeting Jeff for our first-look before the ceremony, it proved a little difficult to get everyone together right before the ceremony to take pictures, the reception venue was a little tight and that made it hard to do an official intro at the top of the reception), but none of these things seemed to really matter in the grand scheme of things and I somehow managed to adopt a "ehh, just roll with it" attitude, which really surprised me. Our poor photographer must have been so frustrated with me because all her questions were met with such ambiguity ("ehh, I guess we're not going to worry about doing this thing I had said we were gonna do, so I guess don't worry about it- let's dance!"), but it proved to be much more enjoyable to just let things evolve as they were going to evolve instead of spending all my energy rigidly enforcing (and subsequently, corralling and double-checking and obsessing) every last detail. I was proud of myself for delegating all set-up responsibilities to the guys that morning, and for trusting my mom and sister to make sure that the venue was ready while Jeff and I took pictures-- I was totally not involved (which I thought was going to be very difficult for me, since I'm an event coordinator by trade- I tend to micromanage and have trouble relinqishing control) and it was great. My strategy was to over-prepare as much as possible ahead of time so I could just step away. Fortunately, nearly every piece fell into place and those that didn't weren't ultimately not that important anyway. It was much better to focus on having a great time than nit-picky details that probably only five people would notice and I am so glad that I was able to be much more relaxed about everything than I thought I would be. We focused on having fun and enjoying every moment and we just let the day happen and I think that made all the difference.

 

Hooray!