Can't They All Be Naked?

Many of you probably don't know that I'm the Costume Designer for Webster Theatre Guild's upcoming production of "HAIR", opening in the middle of January and running for two weeks. My love affair with "HAIR" began during my junior year of college when I traveled to ACTF (American College Theatre Festival, for those of you who aren't in the know) in Allentown, PA. You see, each year thousands of the finest college-aged theatre nerds are selected to participate in the festival, and some lucky institutions even get to bring entire shows to be presented over the course of the week. This was my second year at ACTF, so I knew everything and was very hot shit, you see. My best friend, Molly (who also happened to be one of the few theatre nerds selected to represent Naz that year), and I decided to take in West Chester University's production of "HAIR" one evening and it ROCKED OUR WORLDS. We had gorgeous hippie-men crawling over the backs of our theatre seats while shoving crotches AND daisies into our faces! There were strobe lights! And a slideshow! And lady-kimonos! And parachutes! And nakedness! And we danced on stage! We got back on the shuttle bus that would take us back to the nerd hotel and we just sat there in complete awe. What had just happened to us? It wasn't until hours later, while dancing our asses off at the mixer in the hotel ballroom, that we realized that not one of those man-hippies was actually as gorgeous and rugged as we thought. Sometimes the magic of theatre is cruel. Especially when the illusion wears off and you're left with a scrawny, 5'5" tall, beak-shnozzed hippie-wannabe grinding on your leg to the music of Ace of Base.


This man kissed muh face!

My second brush with "HAIR" happened years later, but this time it was on the Broadway- the Broad-WAY, people! Whilst visiting friends in NYC over Memorial Day weekend, my friend Katelyn and I decided to TKTS-it for some "HAIR" tickets. Our seats were amaze-balls and we were giddy with excitement as the fog machines filled the colorfully-lit theatre with a rich haze of smoke. I swear to God it smelled like they had fresh marijuana-flavored Glade plug-ins in every outlet of that theatre. It was awesome awesome awesome! Katelyn and I didn't hesitate to run up on that stage- a Broadway stage- to dance with the cast during "Let The Sunshine In" at the end of the show. And the cherry on the theatre-nerd-sundae? THE DUDE WHO PLAYED HUD KISSED ME. ON STAGE. And make no mistake- he was even more beautiful up close. No theatre magic necessary!

So this brings me to my third experience with this, musical theatre's finest tribute to the flower-children. My original concept of blowing my entire costuming budget on daisies and spirit gum was immediately axed (I still think it would have been beautiful and very edgy, thank you very much). In fact, no nudity whatsoever for this production. So that leaves me with having to find actual clothing... circa 1968... for 23 people (many of whom have come on board as replacements for people originally cast who have gone on to greener pastures). Oh what's a costumer to do?

What I want the costumes to look like...



What I worry they'll end up looking like...



My worst nightmare.

This should be interesting...


**UPDATE: Since penning this post, I have received official notification that the show has been cancelled. The world just wasn't ready for you, naked daisy children...