This week...

I suck at blogging. And also following through on promises of productivity posted on my blog (ie: you know that last post where I pledged to tackle several domestic projects over the course of one week... such silly dream I have!). To tide my conscience over, here's a quick update about random things:

Reading the newest Dan Brown book. Jeff's grandma got it for me for my birthday and I'm about 1/3 of the way through. I never devote enough time to reading and that makes me bummed out.

Writing grant proposals till my eyeballs bulge out of my face and my ears begin to bleed. At least that's what it feels like ever since I started my new position. I've got 2 letters of inquiry, 2 "update" letters, and a massive "surprise" TCG application (which doesn't have any boilerplate narratives pre-written in our files to draw from) all due within the next week. On top of my other duties (only 50% of my job is supposed to be grantwriting... supposed to be).

Eating all the bad-for-me-things and not enough of the good-for-me-things.

Listening to the ending credits music from Angus (1995).

Thinking about how much I hate the new East Ave Wegmans. I'm sorry, I've tried but I just can't seem to get on board. I don't know what it is about it, but it feels like a cold, suburban factory to me. And every time I'm there, that goddamn rooster won't stop crowing. It's enough to drive a girl to shop at TOPS!

Wishing I had enough dollars that I could pay all my bills, purchase my flight to Florida for our Disney trip in February, and get at least one real suit for work without worrying about completely draining my bank account.

Hoping that we can buy a house this Spring. I just want a home that I can do projects in. Like refinishing wood floors and cabinets and things and painting walls and trim and things and then everyone can come to our house and I can brag about how awesome and butch I am.

Wearing pjs and a towel turban. Tres chic.

Loving chocolate. I needs it. I wants it.

Feeling terrible sharp shooting pains down my spine in my lower back / upper butt ever since yesterday afternoon. It makes sitting (which I do most of the day) terribly uncomfortable. I'm OVER IT, back.

Operation: Productivity Pants

I've been feeling rather poorly for the last week or so, so I elected to stay home from work today. This allowed me to get some much needed extra Zs and gave me the opportunity to quietly take care of a few things around the house that had been weighing on me a little bit and adding to my stress level. By the time Jeff got home at 5:30pm, the house was pretty damn spotless, all our remaining wedding gifts had been incorporated into our decor (yes, I'm that shitty bride that - 2 months after the wedding - still had a stack of unwrapped gifts sitting in their unopened boxes in the corner of the dining room, waiting to be broken in), 2 loads of laundry had been completed, the crappy old table that up until now held Jeff's record player was switched out for the beautiful antique table Jeff got me for my birthday, frames that had been sitting propped up against the side of our couch for months were finally hung on the wall or made into attractive vignettes on bookcases, and a homemade meal was prepared and ready for the eatin' (homemade chicken noodle soup in our new crockpot with a fresh loaf of garlic Tuscan bread, bitches). Sitting on the couch in such new-found loveliness felt awesome.

So awesome, in fact, that I've decided to declare war on the remaining long-neglected organization-related projects that I've been putting off (and that have, subsequently, built up in pockets all over the house). Each day after work next week, I shall battle one such area, and by the end of the week I shall have conquered them all! Mwahaha! I call this initiative Operation: Productivity Pants <cue Mission Impossible theme... aaaaaand... GO!>

Here's the battle plan, (wo)men...

SUNDAY: The walk-in closet off of the dining room. It's been a goddamn mess ever since we moved in last summer!
MONDAY: The storage baskets in the dining room bookcase. Right now, they're crammed with plastic bags from craft stores, which are filled with an odd assortment of wedding DIY supplies.
TUESDAY: The linen closet in the hallway. So many wayward nail polish bottles, random toiletries, bags of theatre makeup from shows I did years ago, tangled gobs of jewelry, and a mess of medicines. Need less shelves for junk, more shelves for actual linens.
WEDNESDAY: The junk drawer in the kitchen. Batteries, pens, markers, glue sticks, air fresheners, random-ass keys to lord knows what locks, and a whole bunch of weird things thrown in.
THURSDAY: No battle this day, for my nephew will be at my parents' and I must venture to Oswego to blow raspberries on him.
FRIDAY: The hutch cabinet. Wasted space as it currently holds 2 small boxes of Christmas ornaments, an Easter wreath, 3 pieces of scrapbook paper (I don't scrapbook...?), and a new (ie: shitty) version of The Game of Life that we bought at a drug store one night when we were overcome with the need to play it (fortunately, we got the real version as a wedding gift and now we can throw that shitty version off of a bridge somewhere).

You guys... if I can do this, I will be the most badass put-together-adult-person-with-all-my-shit-together EVER. I will win this war... as God as my witness...

(and maybe, if you are truly lucky, I will post before and after photos so you can see just how hard I beasted these chores*, yo)

*this has to be the lamest thing I've ever said on this blog.

If Money Weren't a Thing...

If money weren't a thing, I would quit my job and spend my days refinishing furniture (which I would then sell for shits and giggles and personal glory), teaching private lessons, and cooking amaaaaazing things...

I would scour Goodwills and thrift stores and pick up banged up wooden furniture and transform it into awesome pieces. Perhaps I would create an adorable workshop in our garage (because in this fantasy, we would be home-owners). While I sanded and restored the furniture, I would stream all my favorite shows- 30 Rock, Parks & Rec, Orange is the New Black...

Our home would be spotless and organized, and decorated like it was ripped from a Real Simple magazine. The closets and cabinets and drawers would have little dividers and sub-compartments. Our linen closet would feature stacks of perfectly folded, crisp white towels. White sheers would billow in the light breeze coming through the open windows (which are very large and allow ridiculous amounts of natural light).

We'd have a quaint little studio space off of the back of the house where we'd give private lessons to local kids. There would be an upright piano, a smattering of music stands (that may or may not have "Naz" spray painted on the back), a pair of cushy arm chairs, and some kind of message board where we could post helpful tips, reminders, performance and audition notices, and sing the praises of our glorious students who will all be super talented and amazing.

I would perfect all my favorite recipes (much like I have already perfected my chocolate chip cookie recipe... I seriously have... these babies are unbeatable). Our dinners would be thoughtful and interesting, and my repertoire of dishes would be extensive. My kitchen would always smell amazing, our fridge would be well-stocked, and the cookie jar would always be full.

I think this would be a lovely life, don't you?

Reading "Basic Black" by Cathie Black (aka: former President of Hearst Magazines). I bought this book a few years ago when I lived in Philly and was searching for my next career move-- this book was very inspiring and encouraging and gave me a boost I needed to take the next step (and it obviously worked, because I scored a sweet job at Geva soon after reading it the first time). Since I just got promoted, I figured it was time to read it again and refresh that business-savvy! I highly recommend this book- it's got sound advice from an obviously successful businesswoman and it's not loaded with the corporate jargon so common in other 'get ahead at work' books out there.

Laughing at this video-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nv7Ts4v5_Bs

These are my spaghetti arms.

Listening to our VHS of "Dirty Dancing" as I fall asleep each night. I recently purchased the VHS at Goodwill and, though he had absolutely no interest in ever seeing it, Jeff has quickly become obsessed with it. The soundtrack of Patrick Swayze grinding his bidness on dancing women has serenaded me to sleep these last few nights.

Thinking that late July is too early to be putting out Halloween candy displays at Wegmans.

Craving everything. Just everything. I want to eat all the things. Particularly poutine (I made homemade poutine last week and it was AMAZING). And shortcake (we got a mixed berry shortcake from the bakery at Wegmans last week and it rocked our world).

Watching 30 Rock on Netflix Instant, mostly while I cook or tidy the house. I love it, it never gets old no matter how many times I watch it over and over again (and I do).

Ben... I love him!

Missing my nephew, Ben. He's the cutest and I love him. He JUST turned 2, so he's running around all over the place and saying the funniest things.

Feeling super exhausted.

Trying to figure out when I'm gonna have this garage sale that I blogged about a couple of entries ago. I was going to do it this weekend, but that's craziness- I'm never gonna get it together in time! Maybe Labor Day weekend?

Hating government grant applications. Oh man, they stink.

Musical fart competition

Loving all of "Fiona"'s songs from Shrek: The Musical. In 3 days, I'm auditioning for Rochester Children's Theatre's February production of it (yes, they are holding auditions 6 months before the show is set to run). I think that the thing that appeals to me most about this particular character is that she's a feisty princess. I've played sooooo many fluffy fairy tale princesses (many for RCT), the sweet, innocent, angelic type. While those parts were great, I have a natural tendency to infuse my roles with spunk and sass, and always struggled with portraying the stereotypical Disney-esque, sweet-as-pie, princesses. Fiona is totally different. She recognizes the "appropriate princess" behavior and puts up that facade when Shrek rescues her from her tower, but she quickly ditches the front and reveals her true, quirky, tomboyish, sassy self... which is totally me. I love it. There's a fart sequence in one of her duets with Shrek. It's totally me. I want it. Keep your fingers crossed fo' meh, bitches.

Needing to print out my headshot/resume. For said audition. Hmmm.... I need to update my resume, actually...

Follow me on Bloglovin'!

Two posts in one day? I know... it's crazy.

My gorgeous and talented and smart friend, Sammi, suggested I get my blog up on Bloglovin', and as Sammi operates a very successful and snazzy blog herself (check out The Soubrette Brunette), I will listen to absolutely any advice she gives me!

So follow Adorkable Gal on Bloglovin'! (whatever that means!)

The Wedding: In Review

Soooooo Jeff and I totally got married two weeks ago. And it was AWESOME. Seriously. It's very different to experience a wedding when it's actually your wedding, and I might be a little bit biased, but I think we had one of the most go-with-the-flow, relaxed, personalized and fun parties ever. Which pleases me greatly because that's exactly the kind of vibe we were going for from the very beginning.

We've all been to the weddings that run like clockwork: there's the conventional ceremony with all the proper rituals and formal behavior, then you go to the cocktail hour and you're greeted with the typical spread of hors d'oeurves, and then it's time to eat so you tuck in to a plate that consists of a piece of meat (usually dry), some kind of potato item and a pile of non-descript, unseasoned veggies (and the food is never hot enough, am I right?). And then there's a DJ who announces the bridal party and the newlyweds, followed by a nice slow dance from the happy couple. And then everybody dances and then goes home at the end of the night.

These weddings are awesome and I always enjoy attending them, but that wasn't the kind of party we wanted for ourselves. We wanted to strip our wedding of the formalities, emphasize the food, drinks and music/dancing, and incorporate elements that were fun and made sense for us. We didn't want to feel like we were being directed through a series of tasks or events throughout the day- we wanted to feel like we were at a super-kickass summer party with all of our most beloved family and friends (where we just happened to be the guests of honor).

So here's what we did:


Walkin' with muh dad

-We kept the ceremony short and simple. Our close friend, Jason, officiated and he created a very sweet and offbeat ceremony for us. We elected not to have a bridal party, but found ways to honor and include those people most important to us-- Jeff processed in with our grandmas on either arm, my mom processed in with Jeff's parents (I obviously walked in with my dad), my brother played the acoustic guitar as we walked in, my best friend Molly did a reading (non-religious; she read Paul Newman's letter to his wife on their wedding day), Jeff's younger brother Ryan handed off our rings, and we asked our older siblings to give speeches during the reception. In this way, we were able to include each member of our families in a way that was very specific and special.
 
-We put all our money into food, drinks and music (okay, and photography to capture it all). Seriously... like pretty much all of it. Food is very important to me- I've learned over the years that it's very much how I show my affection for people and it was always a big part of how my family operated as I was growing up (we always sat down for dinner together, and the preparing and eating of meals was/is always the centerpiece of any Tiballi family get-together). I wanted the food at our wedding to reflect what we love, make people smile, and be satisfying. So we had a big ol' BBQ with all the fixin's, there was a hotdog bar with all sorts of fun toppings (and tater tots!!!), and all the appetizers during the cocktail hour were inspired by "childhood favorites", including apple butter and fluff finger sandwiches, chicken tenders with various dipping sauces, and pigs in a blanket (of course). And DAMN did that food go fast! Also, there was an ice cream truck-- our guests were lined up around the building and many went back to the truck for seconds! It was the perfect treat on such a hot day and I think it added a lot of whimsy and personality to the reception. We provided our own booze for the open bar and tried to have as wide a selection as possible for our guests-- 9 different kinds of beer and nearly every kind of liquor you could think of. The bar was hoppin' all night and Jeff did several shots with the menfolk early in the night. And the band.... oh, the band! We hired "Something Else", Rochester's best cover band (and friends of ours in real life) to rock the house and boy did they! I busted a move to nearly every single song they played and it seemed like our guests were totally loving them all night-- the dance floor was crowded, the bystanders were getting a kick out of watching us go crazy on the dance floor, and they played all of our favorite songs (including quirky ones like "A Whole New World"- which is always hilarious, the theme from "Fresh Prince of Bel Air", "Bohemian Rhapsody"- did I mention there's only 3 musicians?, and "Time of my Life" from Dirty Dancing... which I did the leap from and totally wonked out my calf muscle in the process- WORTH IT).



Tasty yum-yums



I shall have all the flavors, please!

-We didn't go too crazy on the DIY projects. I knew from the start that I didn't want to have too much *stuff* to have to set-up and tear-down, because I didn't want to create any extra unnecessary work (and therefore, pressure) for us on the wedding day. My sister graciously offered to whip up some homemade felt garlands to decor the outdoor ceremony area, which was awesome and ended up being super-festive. Other than that, I basically just had the florist do centerpieces for the reception tables and hired a balloon guy I work with at Geva to throw some balloons in the park to help people find their way to and from the ceremony site. I did take some time in the week leading up to the wedding to make the seating assignment boards and the table "numbers" (which were actually movie posters that I printed out and framed). I also busted out a few handmade wooden signs to help direct guests. But that was pretty much it as far as DIY projects go. Now anyone who knows me knows that I like to be crafty and take on all sorts of projects, but I was very happy to not overwhelm myself with a huge list of DIY projects for this wedding. There was plenty to do without worrying about crafting every little detail myself- I think I would have had many meltdowns if I had pressured myself to do that. Instead, I only took on those few pieces that I thought would really matter (the signage was necessary to ensure that people knew where they were going, and the table/seating stuff was very specific to our interests so we had to personalize them ourselves) and happily paid other people to take care of the rest of the minimal decor. I didn't have a lot of "we HAVE to have this" things on my list to begin with, so it was a lot easier to manage my expectations when it came to the details of the decor. Smartest thing I did during this whole process, by far. And I was stoked with how everything looked on the day-of, so having more stuff totally wouldn't have been necessary (regardless of what Pinterest wants brides to believe).

Awesome 80s movie poster "table numbers"




Original poem on the back of said awesome movie poster "table numbers"

No matter what I do, I can't seem to rotate this image. Blerg.

-We didn't take anything too seriously on the day-of and we lived in the moment as much as possible. Sure there were a couple of things that I noticed that could have gone a little smoother (I missed the perfect photo-op that I had wanted of my dad seeing me in my dress for the first time because the guys were in a rush to get ready and busted into the hotel room before we knew what was happening, I was 20 minutes late meeting Jeff for our first-look before the ceremony, it proved a little difficult to get everyone together right before the ceremony to take pictures, the reception venue was a little tight and that made it hard to do an official intro at the top of the reception), but none of these things seemed to really matter in the grand scheme of things and I somehow managed to adopt a "ehh, just roll with it" attitude, which really surprised me. Our poor photographer must have been so frustrated with me because all her questions were met with such ambiguity ("ehh, I guess we're not going to worry about doing this thing I had said we were gonna do, so I guess don't worry about it- let's dance!"), but it proved to be much more enjoyable to just let things evolve as they were going to evolve instead of spending all my energy rigidly enforcing (and subsequently, corralling and double-checking and obsessing) every last detail. I was proud of myself for delegating all set-up responsibilities to the guys that morning, and for trusting my mom and sister to make sure that the venue was ready while Jeff and I took pictures-- I was totally not involved (which I thought was going to be very difficult for me, since I'm an event coordinator by trade- I tend to micromanage and have trouble relinqishing control) and it was great. My strategy was to over-prepare as much as possible ahead of time so I could just step away. Fortunately, nearly every piece fell into place and those that didn't weren't ultimately not that important anyway. It was much better to focus on having a great time than nit-picky details that probably only five people would notice and I am so glad that I was able to be much more relaxed about everything than I thought I would be. We focused on having fun and enjoying every moment and we just let the day happen and I think that made all the difference.

 

Hooray!

 

Imma Have Me a Garage Sale!

At the end of my last post, I wrote briefly about how I am determined to sort through the piles of *stuff* we've accumulated ever since we moved in to our apartment a year ago. Tonight, Jeff and I started by going through our clothes. It's amazing how frequently I mutter to myself "Gahhhd, I don't have anything to wear" since my closet is literally BURSTING with clothes. Honestly, I don't wear most of it, either because I don't think a piece works with anything else I own (I feel like I suck at putting together complete outfits) or because certain pieces just don't fit right and I haven't been willing to suck it up and get rid of them. Well tonight I tried to be as discriminating as possible and I ended up with a garbage bag full of items to toss (holes, stains, tears, faded, etc), a big laundry basket overflowing with items to sell, and a metric shit-ton of liberated hangers. My closet is still pretty full, but at least I can now actually see what's hanging there. I still have to go through my dresser and my shelves of sweaters, but I shall save that for another night. I'm quite please with tonight's pruning efforts! It feels good to clear out the extra stuff that was cluttering things up and making it hard to function easily-- my mantra this summer is going to be STREAMLINE.

I would go to this sale, wouldn't you??

I've decided that I'm going to have a garage sale the first weekend of August (which also happens to be Park Ave Festival weekend... aka: TONS of foot traffic in our neighborhood!). That gives me two weeks to finish going through my clothes and to collect household items that we don't want, don't use, and/or don't need. We have a lot of duplicate items (like sets of pots & pans, kitchen gadgets and utensils, etc) because we got nice stuff from our bridal shower to replace the stuff we'd been using-- I figured a garage sale would be the perfect opportunity to make room for the new items and earn a little extra cash in the process! All proceeds from the garage sale will go directly to our "down payment for a house" fund, which already has a nice little sum started. Hooray!

I dream of a super-organized, perfectly staged garage sale, with cute signage and little color-coordinated price stickers and perhaps even a little lemonade stand or table of baked goods as an added source of revenue! If you've got any stuff lying around your house and you'd like to donate it to our sale, let me know- I'll happily take it!

Currently THIS week...

I know... it's shameful how long it's been since my last post, but I've had shit to do (shows to open and close, a giant fundraiser to put on at work, and a wedding to plan and have), so sue me. Here's a short post to jump-start my efforts again...

Reading "The Fallen Angel", by some Dan Brown knock-off dude. So far, it's trying to be "Angels and Demons"... a lot. <LAME>

Writing a shit-ton of grant proposals. I have a final report due on Wednesday, two major final reports for NEA grants due by the end of the month, and then I have five grant applications due in August. Soooooo I'm just going to spend the next 6 weeks typing pages and pages of things. Oh, and thank you notes... must bang out thank you notes in the next 2 weeks.

Eating green things. I swear all I ate in Wilmington last week was steak and sugar. It was amazing. But I need to get my shit together and start eating like a grown-up.

Listening to the sound of the Geva air conditioning and NOT my beloved Pandora station (though I totally intent to put on my giant headphones and rock out to my Philip Glass station while I write this week, so suck my balls, IT).

Thinking about how much I hate the new East Ave Wegmans. I'm sorry, I've tried but I just can't seem to get on board. I don't know what it is about it, but it feels like a cold, suburban factory to me. And every time I'm there, that goddamn rooster won't stop crowing. It's enough to drive a girl to shop at TOPS!

Wishing we had $10,000 saved up so we could just slap a down payment down on a house and move. I/we really want a house and even though we got a nice chunk of change from wedding cards, it still feels like it'll take forever to save up enough for a respectful down payment. Also, it would be super awesome if someone could pay off all my/our debt please thanks okay bye.

Hoping that our fridge is not broken, because our landlord totally blows at responding to me whenever I try to contact him (see "Wishing" section above). We've got some serious condensation issues up in there, people, and I need to make sure that my chilly items remain cool during this time of oppressive heat.

Wearing black skinny jeans and a striped 3/4-length shirt, thank you. I'm looking tres French today.

Loving Jeffrey. Being married to him is the effin' bomb. I get squishy whenever I glance at his left hand and see that ring on it... gyullllll!

Feeling a mixture of overwhelmed-ness (I'm making words up) and motivation. I'm feeling the need to finally get my house in completely organizational order now that the dust is finally settling on a VERY busy Spring (what with doing 2 shows back-to-back, transitioning from one very busy job to a promoted - and even more intense - position, and the whole wedding thing). We have piles of stuff that need to be put away, closets that are bursting at the seams (half of that shit is going to Goodwill, I swear to God...), and new wedding gifts that need to replace old household items, which need to then find homes (I guess we'll add "plan and host a garage sale" to the list of things to do this summer). There's so much to do, I don't even know where to start, but I'm itching to get everything settled and organized. This may take days. Even weeks. If you don't hear from me until August, assume I've died in the hoard and send Jeff a sensible sympathy pie.

Currently This Week

Reading my Facebook newsfeed. My sister gave me a book when I was at her house last weekend and I'm just waiting for a free afternoon to sit outside in the sunshine and dive in.

Writing blog posts. I'm trying to be better about posting more regularly, folks, I swear. Look at me-- 2 days in a row!

Eating lots of sandwiches. They are easy and inexpensive. And we had a lot of boxed lunches leftover from a luncheon the other day, so my life is turkey and ham sandwiches right now.

Listening to the sound of air-conditioning and clickety-clackety computer keys at work... because our IT guy TOOK AWAY MY PANDORA-LISTENING ABILITIES! That's right- streaming music on our computers is now forbidden, which totally bums me out because that is how I WORK, MAN. Now I find myself feeling very distracted and scatterbrained while I sit here working at my desk- now I hear everything that anyone in our hallways says (and there are some interesting things said), I get distracted by the sound of my own loud and fast typing, and I find my mind wandering more. I need my Thomas Newman station baaaaack! And I've already tried streaming Pandora on my iPhone with not so great results. Blerg.

Thinking about scheduling a massage for this Saturday after my morning lessons. I've got a nice little window of time from 11am-6pm and could definitely use 60 minutes of zone-out time!

Wishing I had more time to invest in myself right now.

Hoping that the Etsy seller we bought Jeff's wedding ring from will be able to make it and ship it to us in time for the wedding. Apparently she's on vacation till June 3rd and it takes 4-5 weeks for her to make/ship products... which puts us just a couple of days before the wedding. Here's hoping she can rush the order for us so we get it in time!

Wearing a pair of stinky, worn-out silver ballet flats that are definitely on their very last leg.

Loving our new sheets and pillows. Jeff and I went out and purchased a set of sheets off of our registry (we cracked... our old sheets had holes in them and I couldn't take it anymore) and fluffy new pillows and THEY ARE AMAZING. I've always felt that you should really treat yo'self when it comes to your bed-- you spend 1/3 of your life in bed and getting good sleep is EXTREMELY important to the quality of your life during your waking hours, so it's worth it to invest in your bedding. And let me tell you-- our recent purchases are making a big difference in how hard I've been konking out each night. I love it I love it I love it. Bed is my happy place.

Feeling excited for our wedding. Only 38 days from today! We made some leaps in the last week by purchasing our wedding rings, sending in contracts and payments for the florist and the ice cream truck people (oh, the glorious ice cream truck, I cannot wait for thee!), purchasing the rest of my attire/accessories, following-up with guests for RSVPs (due this Saturday), and reaching out to the caterer to finalize details. Now we can move onto the next chunk of tasks to be conquered! 38 days is going to zoom by- I feel like just yesterday I was excitedly preaching "Only 70 days"!

Things I am looking forward to...

Things I am looking forward to doing this summer once I get my life back next week...


Our new cute porch.

• Sitting in the sunshine.
• Sitting on our cute new front porch.
• Sitting.
• Putting our new Expedit bookcase from Ikea together and sorting all of Jeff's records into it (thus getting rid of the 4 plastic milk crates full of records that currently line the perimeter of our dining room).
• Spring cleaning and getting our house super organized.
• Cooking REAL food! Like chicken! And actual things! For dinners and such!
• Reading books. Thick ones. With paper.
• Going on summer adventures with Jeffrey to places like the zoo, parks, the beach, etc.
• Finally hanging the shelves in the living room and accessorizing them accordingly.
• Planting flowers and playing in the dirt.
• Hitting the drive-in.
• Having the time to finish wedding plans without having to cram tasks into a 45-minute window in between work, rehearsals, lessons, and performances.
• Hopefully going camping for the first time in years.
• Actually seeing shows... as an audience member.
• Going on our honeymoon and having 5 days to do whatever we feel like doing in a totally new place. This will be our first real vacation together!
• Baking. I have so many things I want to bake but I just haven't had the time!
• Getting my ass back to the gym (which I will have to do because of the aforementioned baked goods).

Fatty Intervention

I've been feeling like a busted can of biscuits lately and that feeling slapped me in the face last night during rehearsal for Steel Magnolias. Our costumer came to rehearsal with stacks of things for each of us to try on- my stack was entirely pink, of course. I took my pile to the lobby bathroom (no, I am not one of those actresses who just whips off their clothes and walks around freely in their underwear in front of everyone) and grabbed the only pair of pants in the bunch.... which were a size 16. Instantly, my heart dropped out of my butt and I thought to myself "Do I really look like I should wear a size 16?". I put them on and was a bit relieved to find that they were a little too baggy to be a passable fit, but still... my heart was on the floor of that dirty little theatre bathroom. I grabbed a shirt from the stack- a pink polo shirt... in a size XL. Really? Is this how people see me? Is this how they quite literally size me up? I walked out of my makeshift dressing room feeling completely frumpy and defeated- not at all the confident stylish young woman I have been cast to portray. And not at all the confident stylish young woman I used to be...

This was me in May 2009, at around 138lbs

Four years ago, I was fit-- I could run 5 miles in one stretch pretty easily (and did- around 4 times a week), I lifted free weights twice a week, and though I wasn't totally toned, I was quite lean. Though other areas of my life were a bit of a mess during that time, I had somehow managed to incorporate fitness into my regular routine and within 4 months of starting, I looked pretty awesome. And that made me feel pretty awesome! My life changed drastically right around when this photo was taken and slowly I lost the time and motivation to keep up with it.


Me, last November, at my 10-year reunion

Now, four years later, I'm the heaviest I've ever been- nearly 170 pounds for anyone who's keeping track. I have a year-long gym membership, which I've used many many times this Spring, but I still seem to hover between 163-168. I see all of these amazing before and after photos of my friends posted on Facebook and they are completely amazing-- I am incredibly impressed and envious of their successful transformations, but I am struggling to find the time and energy to make fitness and diet my major priority right now. Certainly there should be no excuses, for the friends I mentioned all have busy lives as well, but I'm finding that working a full day at a stressful and sedentary job (which is currently at its most stressful as I plan the biggest Geva fundraiser of the year AND transition into my new position), keeping up with an apartment overrun by three cats, rehearsing a show, teaching private lessons and planning a very imminent wedding has depleted me of any and all energy at the end of the day. Any slice of time I have for myself is usually spent resting on the couch with Jeff or sleeping so I don't run myself completely into the ground. As much as I try to laugh-off or joke about my body, the whole thing makes me feel incredibly sad and hopeless. I feel ten-thousand miles away from being that person I used to be. After the costume debacle last night, I had a terrible dream where I just stood in the center of a circle and anonymous voices all around me chanted "you look like shit" at me, over and over and over again until I finally woke up. It was horrible.

So, because of this realization, I am giving myself a fatty intervention. I have made the decision that, after Steel Magnolias, I am taking a break from performing so I can focus on my health and my badly bruised body image. I am committing to replacing rehearsal time with activity time-- either in the gym or out in nature. I am committing to ditching soda. I am committing to investing my time and attention into working on those things about my appearance that I've completely lost pride in (which isn't limited to my weight-- last month, someone told me that my hair, which used to inspire envy, looked like seaweed). I am tired of not feeling great about myself. I'm tired of putting what little energy I have into finding ways to hide myself (since when have I been one to hide??). I am terrified that I will get my wedding photos back and I'll be too distracted and ashamed of my doughy arms and trunk-like torso to be able to display them with pride. I know I've said it in previous posts, but seriously guys- this shit ends NOW. I need to find myself again under all this extra physical and mental weight- it's unbearably oppressive and it's taken its toll on my body and my sense of self-worth. So with all that in mind, I officially announce that my next performance will be the role of "Mary" in the one-woman show Fatty Intervention: The Quest to be a Healthy Bitch!, which will run indefinitely.

This Week Currently...

Reading The Phantom Tollbooth, a children's adventure novel and modern fairy tale (circa 1961) by Norton Juster. This was one of my favorites growing up-- It tells the story of a bored young boy named Milo who unexpectedly receives a magic tollbooth that transports him to a land called the Kingdom of Wisdom. There he acquires two faithful companions, has many adventures, and goes on a quest to rescue the princesses of the kingdom—Princess Rhyme and Princess Reason—from the castle of air. The text is full of puns and wordplay and I just reeks of cleverness and imagination. I was reminded of its awesomeness earlier this week when Jeff was flipping through channels and landed on the cartoon version of it-- I FREAKED OUT. Within 24 hours, he had gone out to Barnes & Noble and purchased a copy for me. Have I mentioned that Jeff is the best?

Writing several to-do lists. To-do lists for work, to-do lists for Spring cleaning and getting the house organized, to-do lists for the wedding... it goes on and on!

Eating seemingly everything. I've fallen off the soda wagon (damn you, tiny 7oz cans of soda and your adorableness) and I'm not exaggerating when I say I have around 2-square-feet of delicious leftover birthday sheet cake just sitting on our counter, staring at me.

Listening to whatever comes on 100.5 The Drive on my 5-minute commute to and from work, and then at work I jam to my Thomas Newman Pandora station (mmmm... Thomas Newman). Every time a song from the Little Women soundtrack (the movie, not the musical) comes on, I get very excited, and if it's "Valley of the Shadow", I have been known to actually say out loud "oh GAHHHHD, nooooo! BETH'S DEAD! And now Hannah is sprinkling the red petals on the dolls! Cause Beth's DEAD! NOOOO!!!!"

Thinking that I need to upgrade my work wardrobe so it's more "corporate". I JUST got promoted to the Institutional Giving Manager position at Geva (!!!), so starting in June I'll be responsible for bringing in A LOT of money, mostly through corporate sponsorships. So I'll have a ton of pitch meetings with executive-level corporate types, and I need to look SHARP and super-profesh. Bring on the pinstripes and pantsuits, yo'!

Wishing I had a more defined jawline. <sigh>

Hoping that I get my big "Moses Man" stipend check in the mail in the next couple of days... t'would be really nice to have right about now!

Wearing anything that's still clean! We have accumulated the most ridiculous mountain of dirty laundry! There are literally 3 large laundry baskets in our bedroom and each of them has a mound of dirty clothes that has grown so large that it's quickly creeping up the wall! These piles go up to my waist! Tonight is laundry night. THIS ENDS NOW.

Loving Jeffrey. And sleep.

Feeling tired and slightly overwhelmed, but happy and pretty pumped for the future! Lots of good things are happening!!

Planning a Wedding

So I'm getting married. For REAL. To beautiful Jeffrey, this summer, specifically July 7th. Here are some of my thoughts on planning a wedding...

1. Regardless of all the "off-beat", "non-traditional", "hipster wedding", "DIY-chic" trendiness currently out there in the wedding industry, it's all still the same thing-- the wedding people want you to spend all your dollars (and your parents' dollars, and your fiance's dollars) on this one day of your life. You think you're being all funky and fresh and fun by saying "oh yeah? Well we're not going to have the bride & groom cake toppers. And we're not having attendants. And who needs a guestbook?". And so you set out to plan your casual, non-traditional *personalized* wedding. And then the industry finds out and then start inundating you with the same wedding garbage but THIS time it's funky and crafty and it has birds on it and it's red and turquoise because it's not a traditional wedding, it's a *cool* wedding, just like yours is going to be! But it's the same damn stuff. They still want you to shell out hundreds for a dress, for a new slim-cut suit, for the little paper-crafted penant banners to adorn your reception site, for the DIY-ribbon backdrop to go behind the officiant, for the fun and colorful candy display that you simply must have in order to be a fun and hip bride.

2. Vendors jack prices way up the minute you say "bride" or "wedding". You think you just need a bouquet of flowers to hold for 20 minutes? On any ordinary day, that might cost you $30, but on your wedding day a "bridal bouquet" will cost you $120. You just want a cake that can feed 70 people? Most wedding cakes start at around $200 for the most basic of flavors. (my solution?-- I go to the bakery the day before the wedding and buy 4 regular sized cakes for $20 a pop... that way, I get whatever flavors I want, it's not a pain in the ass to cut, and they aren't charging me up the butt for the same amount of cake). You can be the most conservative bride (and believe me, we are doing A LOT of things to save money and to cut out unnecessary spending), and yet you'll STILL end up dropping thousands and thousands.

3. Some of the women that work in bridal shops are real douchebags. Back in January, I called a local bridal shop in Rochester to make an appointment for Saturday, February 2nd. I had done my research online, knew the dresses that they carried that I would be interested in trying on, knew my budget, and picked a date when my mom and Jeff's mom could both go with me (I called 2 weeks ahead to ensure an appointment). What followed was the most irritatingly rude conversation that I have ever had throughout this planning process (thus far)...

Mary: "Hi, I'd like to make an appointment on Saturday, February 2nd to try on bridal gowns, please."

Bridal Douche: "Alright, and when is your wedding date?"

Mary: "Sunday, July 7th"

Bridal Douche: "Of this year?"

Mary: "Yes."

Bridal Douche: "... ummmm.... yeeeeeeeah, that's only 6 months from now. Usually it takes 6-9 months to even get a dress in the store. This is kind of late in the game for your date.... so yeeeeeeah."

Mary: "... so you aren't going to let me have an appointment then?"

Bridal Douche: "Well, I mean by then you'll be 5 months out.... <talking to herself> but then I suppose February 2nd is only two weeks from now, so there's really no point in trying to get you in here any sooner... ugh... do you know what kind of dress you want?"

Mary: "Yes. I've done some research online on the designers you carry in your store. I have specific dresses with their style numbers that I'd like to try on. That's why I'm calling you to make an appointment."

Bridal Douche: "Well... do you think you want a ball gown?"

Mary: "No."

Bridal Douche: "Okay, cause most of the styles we have this season are more of a ballgown silhouette, sooooo...."

Mary: "Yes, I've seen that. But my research indicates that there are other silhouettes in this season's collection at your store."

Bridal Douche: "Okay, we'll schedule you for 2:30pm on the 2nd... I guess that'll have to work"

Mary: "...fabulous."

Bridal Douche: "Okay, when you arrive for your appointment, please bring appropriate undergarments. Oh, and DON'T bring more than 2 people with you. We hate that."

Mary: "Got it."

Bridal Douche: "Okay, we'll see you then!" <click>

SCENE

4. David's Bridal actually has some pretty good dresses. Feeling completely turned-off by the phone conversation with Bridal Douche, I felt the need to make another appointment for February 2nd at a different bridal shop just in case. I had found a really beautiful dress that had gotten great reviews and looked like it flattered a *curvier* figure. The only problem in my mind? It was a David's Bridal dress. I would have to go to David's Bridal. Now, for someone who thinks the wedding industry is full of shit, the very idea of David's Bridal completely grossed me out. The place looks like a pastel-doused warehouse of polyester poof. But the dress was too pretty and I was desperate for a back-up option in case my 2:30pm appointment on the 2nd ended in a bloodbath. So, with much trepidation, I called David's Bridal...
Mary: "Hi, I'd like to make an appointment on February 2nd to try on bridal gowns."
David's Bridal Lady: "Sure! What time do you want to come in?"
Mary: "I have another appointment scheduled for 2:30pm... could we do something earlier than that?"
David's Bridal Lady: "Absolutely- how about 12:30pm? It gets a little crazy here on Saturday mornings, so 12:30pm should be a little calmer."
Mary: "Sounds good"
David's Bridal Lady: "When is your wedding date?"
Mary: "July 7th"
David's Bridal Lady: "Great! You'll be with Lucille*."
Mary: "July 7th isn't too soon? I haven't missed my 6-9 month shopping window?"
David's Bridal Lady: "No, you'll be fine- you've got plenty of time."
Mary: "Do you limit how many people I can bring with me to my appointment?"
David's Bridal Lady: "Bring whoever you want!"
Mary: "Awesome"
David's Bridal Lady: "Alright, you are all set! We'll see you on the 2nd!"

SCENE

*name changed to protect the identity of the poor woman who had to see me in my underwear while I awkwardly stood in the dressing room with my arms in the air as she tried to load white dresses over my head and onto my body.

Dress #3... the runner-up

I felt much better about how this conversation went! On February 2nd, we ventured out to David's Bridal and after trying on 4 dresses, I found "the one" (barf). And no, I didn't have that "burst into tears because you feel like a princess and this is THE ONE, you guys!" moment. I had an "ooh, this is nice and light and comfortable... I like the way the back looks... it does good things for my figure... it doesn't have a bunch of sparkly crap on it... oh wow, the price is awesome" moment. And then I tried Dress #3 back on because that one was the one I had seen in my research that made me want to come into David's Bridal in the first place, and it looked pretty good too. And then I tried Dress #4 on again. And I stood there for 15 minutes not knowing what to do. And then I finally picked Dress #4 because it was, ultimately, more comfortable and more appropriate for the outdoor summery BBQ wedding we would be having. The Lucille* didn't pressure me, she was totally cool, and she didn't make me feel dumb for trying these two dresses on multiple times. The only barfy "ugh" moment I had was when, after I had said out loud "I think this is the dress. Yeah. Let's get this one"... Lucille* came over with a little silver bell and said "Now, here at David's Bridal we have a tradition... when a bride has found *the one*, we have her hold this little silver bell while she stands in her gown, and we have her close her eyes and make a wish for her wedding day, and then ring the bell".... I know... gross. So I humored poor Lucille, mostly out of guilt for the things she saw rolling over my spanx in the dressing room, and I shut my eyes and made a wish for my wedding day (that I wouldn't spill BBQ sauce on my dress) and then I rang that bell. And INSTANTLY, every single person in the store stopped what they were doing, turned around and looked at me with gigantic smiles, and started clapping and "ooh"ing and "ahh"ing and "She said yes to the dress"ing. And so, I (being a complete asshole) totally fake gushed in a very over-exaggerated manner as though I just won a beauty pageant. But it's alright... the dress it pretty damn awesome and I'm actually really excited to wear it on July 7th, so I'll take it.

5. Going to David's Bridal is like inviting the wedding industry vampire to enter your home. As positive as my experience was in finding my wedding dress at David's Bridal (minus the ridiculous bell-ringing pageantry nonsense), they take your information and pimp it out to all sorts of wedding places. So within a week of my visit, I was getting voicemails from Men's Wearhouse (despite having told them that Jeff had already purchased a suit for the wedding), beauty salons, and David's Bridal (looking to sell me bridesmaid's dresses, despite having told them that I didn't have any bridesmaids). All of a sudden, my voicemail and email inboxes were full of "Hey, it's so-and-so calling from fill-in-the-blank! Congrats on your engagement! I'm just calling to let you know that you've been selected as one of our special brides to receive a complimentary pampering session as part of our fill-in-the-blank package! Blah blah blah...". I've since unsubscribed from the various emails, but I'm still getting phone calls offering me all this garbage that I don't need or want, which are just ways to get me back in the loop in order to try to sell me something else that I don't need or want. I wanted a dress, I got a dress. I don't need anything else, so we're done here, thank you. Enough!

6. Do what you want- who cares? When it comes to weddings, there are some real judgmental bitches out there. But who cares? You are never going to please everyone, so the most important thing is that you and your fiance are excited and happy with what's going down. Bonus points if your close family is also happy (which I really think ours are). People may not "get" everything about our wedding:

• Yes, Jeff wound up proposing to me on December 16th... but I also proposed to him (in a very public way) on the same day
• we set the date for 7 months after our engagement (which seemed to shock a lot of people... apparently year+ long engagements are the norm now?) 
• our "bridal shower" (typically an all-female event at a restaurant with lots of proper girly crap) is a co-ed "Mary vs. Jeff"-themed field day, complete with competitive outdoor activities and team bandanas  
• we're having our wedding on a Sunday rather than a Saturday
• we didn't bother with save-the-dates
• we designed a simple 1-piece invitation without all the additional little pieces of paper 
• I tried to custom-design stamps featuring Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze circa Point Break for our invites... but got shot down by Zazzle.com's copyright rules. How awesome would that have been though??
• we've asked guests to RSVP online or by calling the bride, rather than returning a response card 
• we're not having any bridesmaids or groomsmen
• we've asked a completely non-religious friend to officiate the ceremony
• we're not wasting money on favors, but redirecting that money into the food and live band for the enjoyment of all
• we're spending the night before the wedding together... at our apartment (and yes, he will see me on the wedding day before the ceremony... who cares?)
• our cocktail hour features marshmallow fluff, lil' smokies, and chicken fingers
• instead of a tiered white wedding cake, there will be 4 regular ol' cakes... and an ice cream truck

   But that's who we are and what's important to us. And it's going to be a KICK-ASS DAY, so I'm not going to waste time and energy fretting over what we're supposed to do versus what we want to do-- the important people will have fun and think it's awesome no matter what, and frankly that's all that matters to me!

This Is Muh Plan...

As I mentioned in my previous post, I'm trying to drop some lbs, tone this shit UP, and generally feel better about my body and what it can do. So tonight I got my wide ass to the GYM and I rode that elliptical machine into the FRIGGIN' HORIZON, BITCHES.

I did the first 1.5 miles and then noticed that it was 6:30pm, which meant that the Zumba class that I've been too scared to try out was about to start in the Studio next to the cardio room. Was today the day I would find my cha-cha balls and attempt this exotic Zumba of lore? I dismounted my elliptical, making sure to spray my sweat (or "wheez juice" as I like to call it) off of the buttons and wonky flailing-arm handles. I grabbed my water bottle and tentatively tiptoed down the hallway to Studio A and peeped in at the 15 or so ladies standing in 3 lines in their brightly-colored cotton/spandex-blends. And my tiny cha-cha balls retracted up into my body. Alas, Zumba and Mary did not become one on this day.

I didn't have time to snap a sweet pic of me
workin' out, but I'm pretty sure I looked
somethin' like this.*

So I went back to the cardio room and selected a different elliptical, thank-you-very-much, and proceeded to run that shit OUT. I went another 1.5 miles and silently praised myself- "good job, self- that's nearly a 5k right there". Then I thought, "you know, I really like nice round numbers... I should take this to 2 miles on this machine"... so I did another half-mile. Then I thought to myself, "Aww heck, you've gone 3.5 total miles... you should really just make it a solid 4"... so I did another half-mile. And THEN I said "Alright, bitch- you've gone 4 miles... MAKE IT FIVE!!!". And I did. Buh-jam-buh!

After I gracefully exited the elliptical, again making sure to de-wheez-juice it, I triumphantly wobbled/strutted my hopefully slightly less wide ass down the hallway, past Studio A where the day-glow clad Pittsford women were awkwardly solo-salsa dancing like a militant troop of freshly-minted J.Lo clones. I may not have embraced my cha-cha balls (last time, I swear- rule of 3s!) today, but I walked out of that ladies' fitness club a champion. Because, for the first time in 3 years, I ran 5 miles and didn't die. And nobody was even chasing me.

Okay, folks- so this is my plan...

I'm going to venture out to the gymnasium at lease 4 times each week (I think this is reasonable given my rather hectic work/rehearsal/wedding-planning/life schedule) and bust out some serious cardio (between 3-5 miles each time). I will do this in the 1.5-2hr window of "free time" I have between work and rehearsal. Then I will go to rehearsal, which is conveniently located down the street from the gym. I will do this until I am skinny again, dammit.

Also, I went to Wegmans and purchased strawberries (which are currently sliced and dehydrating in my oven), and I mimicked some Terry Tiballi behavior and got a bag of green grapes and a bag of red grapes which I brought home, washed, and then portioned into little individual baggies for snacks throughout the week. Look at me- I am healthy AND domestic! #marthastewarthasnothingonme #healthybitch #praiseme #hashtagsaredumb

*complete bullshit

Things in My Foreseeable Future

Hello blog universe, it's been a dreadfully long while since my last post (if I had a nickel for each time I've acknowledged this at the top of a blog post...). My friend Sammi posted a link to her new blog today and after thoroughly reading each of her posts, I was inspired to revitalize my blog efforts. Also, there's some very big and talk-worthy events on my horizon this Spring, which will be excellent blog fodder.

So here is a list of things in my foreseeable future:

• "Moses Man"-- Very few of you know that I've been working on an original musical that two local artists have been writing over the last year. I first became involved in the project last Spring (specifically, last June), when the director/writer called me and asked me to record a few of the songs they had written. Over the course of the summer, I laid down 2 solo tracks and a duet (with an ex-boyfriend from a highly dramatic relationship that ended very badly... so yeah... that was... fun). From there, I was asked to perform these pieces in front of a few small audiences in various parlors and living rooms around town, in an effort to drum up some local funding. In September, we performed the three pieces onstage at the JCC for a larger group of their major donors. I'm pleased to say that the project has since received some major funding and support, and that we're doing a workshop production of the show (or at least what's been written of it- and there's a lot) at the JCC this March/April. I will continue in my role and will be joined by a slammin' cast of artists (including Scott Scaffidi, one of my best friends and the actor who played opposite me in nearly every show I did in college). I've never worked on an original show of this magnitude and am looking forward to originating a role in a musical! Not only that, but this show is based on a true story, and the woman I am playing will be in the audience- I have met her several times and have performed these pieces for her before, but it's an entirely new experience to portray someone onstage and actually see the person sitting in the audience watching you be them. Very strange indeed!

• "Steel Magnolias"-- I am THRILLED to have been cast as Shelby in Blackfriars Theatre's production of Steel Magnolias, running May 17th - June 2nd. I played Truvy in Naz's production in the Fall of my senior year and it was such a wonderful experience-- I can't wait to delve into it again, this time from a different perspective. This is the first time I'll be doing a show I've already done before and I'm excited to see how the two experiences differ, and what remains constant between the two. I think the greatest thing about this show is the amazing relationship between the 6 characters. Each woman is absolutely unique and all of them are equally juicy and the way they interact with eachother throughout the ups and the downs of the story reveals such depth, honesty and heart. The writing is so good. It's just a really, REALLY good show- one of my all time favorites- and I'm honored to be one of the 6 women that gets to tell this story this Spring. I'm very much looking forward to sitting in a room with these 5 other awesome woman and bringing this world to life.

• I'm getting married-- did I mention this yet? Jeff and I are getting married! Specifically, Jeff and I are getting married on Sunday, July 7th. That's this July. So we're currently knee-deep in the planning process with only 4 months to go. I am pleased to report that I have kicked ass in the wedding planning arena, with all of the following things already checked off of my to-do list: set a date, book the venue, book the caterer, finalize the menu, book the music (in our case, an awesome live band that we LOVE), book the photographer, finalize the guest list, buy a wedding dress, buy wedding shoes, buy Jeff's wedding outfit, create a wedding registry, plan a honeymoon, reserve blocks of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests, create a wedding website with wedding info, book hair/makeup appointments, design wedding invitation, order paper goods for printing invites, get an officiant, book the florist, etc. I kick ass at planning events. Next up on the agenda: meet with florist to determine floral details, buy wedding accessories (bitches need jewels), print invites and address envelopes for mailing, find a tie for Jeff, order ice cream truck (yes, there will be an ice cream truck), finish writing ceremony outline, schedule rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, purchase wedding bands, bridal shower details, mega wedding playlist, buy a shit-ton of booze, various DIY projects (card box, seating assignment crap, etc) and finalizing day-of schedule. I got this. 129 days left!!!

• Get yo' fitness on -- I got a year-long membership to RAC for Women, which is a great gym in Pittsford. I had won a 6-month membership there last year and really liked it (specifically, I really liked the steam room). So I asked Santa for a year-long membership this year and I got it! I've been quite a few times since then, but I've been sick as HELL for the last 2 weeks and haven't been able to exert any physical energy whatsoever. I'm eager to get back on the horse (or in this case, Spin bike/Elliptical) so I can hopefully trim down and tone up for the summer. Yes, part of this motivation is wedding-related (I would really rather not look like a lumpy bride in all my photos from the day), but mostly it's coming from a "God damn it, you are 28 years old-- you should be in the best shape of your life right now, while you are still young! Do you want to get diabetes? No! Do you want to be able to rock a swimsuit and frolic on the beach with your boyfriend/husband? Yes! Do you want to be worried about jiggly arms? No! Do you want to be comfortable in a pair of shorts and wear all the cute things you see on Pinterest? Yes! Do you want to wake up a year from now and think 'I should have started a year ago'? No! Do you want to walk around your house in your underwear and not worry about collecting girl scout cookie crumbs in that roll under your gut? YES!" So I'm challenging myself to lose the 30 pounds I've gained in the last 3 years (yes, just so we're all clear- I'm aware that this has happened, folks) by making trips to the gym a regular part of my life, and by considering the shit I put in my mouth before I put it there. Case in point, guess who gave up soda for Lent? This moi! It has been 2 weeks, but it has felt like 5 years. But I don't care-- that, coupled with the fact that I've been too sick over the last 2 weeks to really eat anything, has contributed to me droppin' a few extra lbs since Ash Wednesday. I'll take it!

If I Were a Grown-up...

If I were a grown-up...

... I would wear snow boots to work and THEN change into my ballet flats instead of trudging through the snow in basically the equivalent of bare feet.

... I would have a tidy car instead of a hunk of salt-crusted green metal containing the world's largest collection of half-empty (frozen) water bottles, Dunkin' Donuts receipts, binders and stacks of loose papers, candy wrappers and stray bobby pins.

... I would fold the laundry as it came out of the dryer instead of squishing it all directly into a laundry basket and letting it sit there for so long that I forget whether the clothes are dirty or clean.

... I would pack a sensible lunch and bring it with me to work instead of spending all my money on soup and vending machine chips.

... I would put all electronic devices in their charging docks when not in use instead of scrambling to find or charge them when I actually need them.

... I would get up at a reasonable hour so I could look *put together* for work instead of refusing to leave the warmth of my bed until 20 minutes before I'm supposed to be at my desk.

... I would actually eat the leftovers instead of letting them sit in tupperware until long after they begin to resemble an unfortunate and toxic science experiment.

... I would have a gym bag with all the necessities pre-packed and placed in my back seat each morning instead of strewn/hidden all over the house in such a manner that consistently sabotages any glint of motivation to go work out.