Two posts in one day? I know... it's crazy.
My gorgeous and talented and smart friend, Sammi, suggested I get my blog up on Bloglovin', and as Sammi operates a very successful and snazzy blog herself (check out The Soubrette Brunette), I will listen to absolutely any advice she gives me!
So follow Adorkable Gal on Bloglovin'! (whatever that means!)
Friday, July 19, 2013
The Wedding: In Review
Soooooo Jeff and I totally got married two weeks ago. And it was AWESOME. Seriously. It's very different to experience a wedding when it's actually your wedding, and I might be a little bit biased, but I think we had one of the most go-with-the-flow, relaxed, personalized and fun parties ever. Which pleases me greatly because that's exactly the kind of vibe we were going for from the very beginning.
We've all been to the weddings that run like clockwork: there's the conventional ceremony with all the proper rituals and formal behavior, then you go to the cocktail hour and you're greeted with the typical spread of hors d'oeurves, and then it's time to eat so you tuck in to a plate that consists of a piece of meat (usually dry), some kind of potato item and a pile of non-descript, unseasoned veggies (and the food is never hot enough, am I right?). And then there's a DJ who announces the bridal party and the newlyweds, followed by a nice slow dance from the happy couple. And then everybody dances and then goes home at the end of the night.
These weddings are awesome and I always enjoy attending them, but that wasn't the kind of party we wanted for ourselves. We wanted to strip our wedding of the formalities, emphasize the food, drinks and music/dancing, and incorporate elements that were fun and made sense for us. We didn't want to feel like we were being directed through a series of tasks or events throughout the day- we wanted to feel like we were at a super-kickass summer party with all of our most beloved family and friends (where we just happened to be the guests of honor).
So here's what we did:
-We kept the ceremony short and simple. Our close friend, Jason, officiated and he created a very sweet and offbeat ceremony for us. We elected not to have a bridal party, but found ways to honor and include those people most important to us-- Jeff processed in with our grandmas on either arm, my mom processed in with Jeff's parents (I obviously walked in with my dad), my brother played the acoustic guitar as we walked in, my best friend Molly did a reading (non-religious; she read Paul Newman's letter to his wife on their wedding day), Jeff's younger brother Ryan handed off our rings, and we asked our older siblings to give speeches during the reception. In this way, we were able to include each member of our families in a way that was very specific and special.
-We put all our money into food, drinks and music (okay, and photography to capture it all). Seriously... like pretty much all of it. Food is very important to me- I've learned over the years that it's very much how I show my affection for people and it was always a big part of how my family operated as I was growing up (we always sat down for dinner together, and the preparing and eating of meals was/is always the centerpiece of any Tiballi family get-together). I wanted the food at our wedding to reflect what we love, make people smile, and be satisfying. So we had a big ol' BBQ with all the fixin's, there was a hotdog bar with all sorts of fun toppings (and tater tots!!!), and all the appetizers during the cocktail hour were inspired by "childhood favorites", including apple butter and fluff finger sandwiches, chicken tenders with various dipping sauces, and pigs in a blanket (of course). And DAMN did that food go fast! Also, there was an ice cream truck-- our guests were lined up around the building and many went back to the truck for seconds! It was the perfect treat on such a hot day and I think it added a lot of whimsy and personality to the reception. We provided our own booze for the open bar and tried to have as wide a selection as possible for our guests-- 9 different kinds of beer and nearly every kind of liquor you could think of. The bar was hoppin' all night and Jeff did several shots with the menfolk early in the night. And the band.... oh, the band! We hired "Something Else", Rochester's best cover band (and friends of ours in real life) to rock the house and boy did they! I busted a move to nearly every single song they played and it seemed like our guests were totally loving them all night-- the dance floor was crowded, the bystanders were getting a kick out of watching us go crazy on the dance floor, and they played all of our favorite songs (including quirky ones like "A Whole New World"- which is always hilarious, the theme from "Fresh Prince of Bel Air", "Bohemian Rhapsody"- did I mention there's only 3 musicians?, and "Time of my Life" from Dirty Dancing... which I did the leap from and totally wonked out my calf muscle in the process- WORTH IT).
-We didn't go too crazy on the DIY projects. I knew from the start that I didn't want to have too much *stuff* to have to set-up and tear-down, because I didn't want to create any extra unnecessary work (and therefore, pressure) for us on the wedding day. My sister graciously offered to whip up some homemade felt garlands to decor the outdoor ceremony area, which was awesome and ended up being super-festive. Other than that, I basically just had the florist do centerpieces for the reception tables and hired a balloon guy I work with at Geva to throw some balloons in the park to help people find their way to and from the ceremony site. I did take some time in the week leading up to the wedding to make the seating assignment boards and the table "numbers" (which were actually movie posters that I printed out and framed). I also busted out a few handmade wooden signs to help direct guests. But that was pretty much it as far as DIY projects go. Now anyone who knows me knows that I like to be crafty and take on all sorts of projects, but I was very happy to not overwhelm myself with a huge list of DIY projects for this wedding. There was plenty to do without worrying about crafting every little detail myself- I think I would have had many meltdowns if I had pressured myself to do that. Instead, I only took on those few pieces that I thought would really matter (the signage was necessary to ensure that people knew where they were going, and the table/seating stuff was very specific to our interests so we had to personalize them ourselves) and happily paid other people to take care of the rest of the minimal decor. I didn't have a lot of "we HAVE to have this" things on my list to begin with, so it was a lot easier to manage my expectations when it came to the details of the decor. Smartest thing I did during this whole process, by far. And I was stoked with how everything looked on the day-of, so having more stuff totally wouldn't have been necessary (regardless of what Pinterest wants brides to believe).
-We didn't take anything too seriously on the day-of and we lived in the moment as much as possible. Sure there were a couple of things that I noticed that could have gone a little smoother (I missed the perfect photo-op that I had wanted of my dad seeing me in my dress for the first time because the guys were in a rush to get ready and busted into the hotel room before we knew what was happening, I was 20 minutes late meeting Jeff for our first-look before the ceremony, it proved a little difficult to get everyone together right before the ceremony to take pictures, the reception venue was a little tight and that made it hard to do an official intro at the top of the reception), but none of these things seemed to really matter in the grand scheme of things and I somehow managed to adopt a "ehh, just roll with it" attitude, which really surprised me. Our poor photographer must have been so frustrated with me because all her questions were met with such ambiguity ("ehh, I guess we're not going to worry about doing this thing I had said we were gonna do, so I guess don't worry about it- let's dance!"), but it proved to be much more enjoyable to just let things evolve as they were going to evolve instead of spending all my energy rigidly enforcing (and subsequently, corralling and double-checking and obsessing) every last detail. I was proud of myself for delegating all set-up responsibilities to the guys that morning, and for trusting my mom and sister to make sure that the venue was ready while Jeff and I took pictures-- I was totally not involved (which I thought was going to be very difficult for me, since I'm an event coordinator by trade- I tend to micromanage and have trouble relinqishing control) and it was great. My strategy was to over-prepare as much as possible ahead of time so I could just step away. Fortunately, nearly every piece fell into place and those that didn't weren't ultimately not that important anyway. It was much better to focus on having a great time than nit-picky details that probably only five people would notice and I am so glad that I was able to be much more relaxed about everything than I thought I would be. We focused on having fun and enjoying every moment and we just let the day happen and I think that made all the difference.
We've all been to the weddings that run like clockwork: there's the conventional ceremony with all the proper rituals and formal behavior, then you go to the cocktail hour and you're greeted with the typical spread of hors d'oeurves, and then it's time to eat so you tuck in to a plate that consists of a piece of meat (usually dry), some kind of potato item and a pile of non-descript, unseasoned veggies (and the food is never hot enough, am I right?). And then there's a DJ who announces the bridal party and the newlyweds, followed by a nice slow dance from the happy couple. And then everybody dances and then goes home at the end of the night.
These weddings are awesome and I always enjoy attending them, but that wasn't the kind of party we wanted for ourselves. We wanted to strip our wedding of the formalities, emphasize the food, drinks and music/dancing, and incorporate elements that were fun and made sense for us. We didn't want to feel like we were being directed through a series of tasks or events throughout the day- we wanted to feel like we were at a super-kickass summer party with all of our most beloved family and friends (where we just happened to be the guests of honor).
So here's what we did:
 |
| Walkin' with muh dad |
-We put all our money into food, drinks and music (okay, and photography to capture it all). Seriously... like pretty much all of it. Food is very important to me- I've learned over the years that it's very much how I show my affection for people and it was always a big part of how my family operated as I was growing up (we always sat down for dinner together, and the preparing and eating of meals was/is always the centerpiece of any Tiballi family get-together). I wanted the food at our wedding to reflect what we love, make people smile, and be satisfying. So we had a big ol' BBQ with all the fixin's, there was a hotdog bar with all sorts of fun toppings (and tater tots!!!), and all the appetizers during the cocktail hour were inspired by "childhood favorites", including apple butter and fluff finger sandwiches, chicken tenders with various dipping sauces, and pigs in a blanket (of course). And DAMN did that food go fast! Also, there was an ice cream truck-- our guests were lined up around the building and many went back to the truck for seconds! It was the perfect treat on such a hot day and I think it added a lot of whimsy and personality to the reception. We provided our own booze for the open bar and tried to have as wide a selection as possible for our guests-- 9 different kinds of beer and nearly every kind of liquor you could think of. The bar was hoppin' all night and Jeff did several shots with the menfolk early in the night. And the band.... oh, the band! We hired "Something Else", Rochester's best cover band (and friends of ours in real life) to rock the house and boy did they! I busted a move to nearly every single song they played and it seemed like our guests were totally loving them all night-- the dance floor was crowded, the bystanders were getting a kick out of watching us go crazy on the dance floor, and they played all of our favorite songs (including quirky ones like "A Whole New World"- which is always hilarious, the theme from "Fresh Prince of Bel Air", "Bohemian Rhapsody"- did I mention there's only 3 musicians?, and "Time of my Life" from Dirty Dancing... which I did the leap from and totally wonked out my calf muscle in the process- WORTH IT).
 |
| Tasty yum-yums |
 |
| I shall have all the flavors, please! |
-We didn't go too crazy on the DIY projects. I knew from the start that I didn't want to have too much *stuff* to have to set-up and tear-down, because I didn't want to create any extra unnecessary work (and therefore, pressure) for us on the wedding day. My sister graciously offered to whip up some homemade felt garlands to decor the outdoor ceremony area, which was awesome and ended up being super-festive. Other than that, I basically just had the florist do centerpieces for the reception tables and hired a balloon guy I work with at Geva to throw some balloons in the park to help people find their way to and from the ceremony site. I did take some time in the week leading up to the wedding to make the seating assignment boards and the table "numbers" (which were actually movie posters that I printed out and framed). I also busted out a few handmade wooden signs to help direct guests. But that was pretty much it as far as DIY projects go. Now anyone who knows me knows that I like to be crafty and take on all sorts of projects, but I was very happy to not overwhelm myself with a huge list of DIY projects for this wedding. There was plenty to do without worrying about crafting every little detail myself- I think I would have had many meltdowns if I had pressured myself to do that. Instead, I only took on those few pieces that I thought would really matter (the signage was necessary to ensure that people knew where they were going, and the table/seating stuff was very specific to our interests so we had to personalize them ourselves) and happily paid other people to take care of the rest of the minimal decor. I didn't have a lot of "we HAVE to have this" things on my list to begin with, so it was a lot easier to manage my expectations when it came to the details of the decor. Smartest thing I did during this whole process, by far. And I was stoked with how everything looked on the day-of, so having more stuff totally wouldn't have been necessary (regardless of what Pinterest wants brides to believe).
 |
| Awesome 80s movie poster "table numbers" |
 |
| Original poem on the back of said awesome movie poster "table numbers" |
 |
| No matter what I do, I can't seem to rotate this image. Blerg. |
 |
| Hooray! |
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Imma Have Me a Garage Sale!
At the end of my last post, I wrote briefly about how I am determined to sort through the piles of *stuff* we've accumulated ever since we moved in to our apartment a year ago. Tonight, Jeff and I started by going through our clothes. It's amazing how frequently I mutter to myself "Gahhhd, I don't have anything to wear" since my closet is literally BURSTING with clothes. Honestly, I don't wear most of it, either because I don't think a piece works with anything else I own (I feel like I suck at putting together complete outfits) or because certain pieces just don't fit right and I haven't been willing to suck it up and get rid of them. Well tonight I tried to be as discriminating as possible and I ended up with a garbage bag full of items to toss (holes, stains, tears, faded, etc), a big laundry basket overflowing with items to sell, and a metric shit-ton of liberated hangers. My closet is still pretty full, but at least I can now actually see what's hanging there. I still have to go through my dresser and my shelves of sweaters, but I shall save that for another night. I'm quite please with tonight's pruning efforts! It feels good to clear out the extra stuff that was cluttering things up and making it hard to function easily-- my mantra this summer is going to be STREAMLINE.
I've decided that I'm going to have a garage sale the first weekend of August (which also happens to be Park Ave Festival weekend... aka: TONS of foot traffic in our neighborhood!). That gives me two weeks to finish going through my clothes and to collect household items that we don't want, don't use, and/or don't need. We have a lot of duplicate items (like sets of pots & pans, kitchen gadgets and utensils, etc) because we got nice stuff from our bridal shower to replace the stuff we'd been using-- I figured a garage sale would be the perfect opportunity to make room for the new items and earn a little extra cash in the process! All proceeds from the garage sale will go directly to our "down payment for a house" fund, which already has a nice little sum started. Hooray!
I dream of a super-organized, perfectly staged garage sale, with cute signage and little color-coordinated price stickers and perhaps even a little lemonade stand or table of baked goods as an added source of revenue! If you've got any stuff lying around your house and you'd like to donate it to our sale, let me know- I'll happily take it!
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| I would go to this sale, wouldn't you?? |
I've decided that I'm going to have a garage sale the first weekend of August (which also happens to be Park Ave Festival weekend... aka: TONS of foot traffic in our neighborhood!). That gives me two weeks to finish going through my clothes and to collect household items that we don't want, don't use, and/or don't need. We have a lot of duplicate items (like sets of pots & pans, kitchen gadgets and utensils, etc) because we got nice stuff from our bridal shower to replace the stuff we'd been using-- I figured a garage sale would be the perfect opportunity to make room for the new items and earn a little extra cash in the process! All proceeds from the garage sale will go directly to our "down payment for a house" fund, which already has a nice little sum started. Hooray!
I dream of a super-organized, perfectly staged garage sale, with cute signage and little color-coordinated price stickers and perhaps even a little lemonade stand or table of baked goods as an added source of revenue! If you've got any stuff lying around your house and you'd like to donate it to our sale, let me know- I'll happily take it!
Monday, July 15, 2013
Currently THIS week...
I know... it's shameful how long it's been since my last post, but I've had shit to do (shows to open and close, a giant fundraiser to put on at work, and a wedding to plan and have), so sue me. Here's a short post to jump-start my efforts again...
Reading "The Fallen Angel", by some Dan Brown knock-off dude. So far, it's trying to be "Angels and Demons"... a lot. <LAME>
Reading "The Fallen Angel", by some Dan Brown knock-off dude. So far, it's trying to be "Angels and Demons"... a lot. <LAME>
Writing a shit-ton of grant proposals. I have a final report due on Wednesday, two major final reports for NEA grants due by the end of the month, and then I have five grant applications due in August. Soooooo I'm just going to spend the next 6 weeks typing pages and pages of things. Oh, and thank you notes... must bang out thank you notes in the next 2 weeks.
Eating green things. I swear all I ate in Wilmington last week was steak and sugar. It was amazing. But I need to get my shit together and start eating like a grown-up.
Eating green things. I swear all I ate in Wilmington last week was steak and sugar. It was amazing. But I need to get my shit together and start eating like a grown-up.
Listening to the sound of the Geva air conditioning and NOT my beloved Pandora station (though I totally intent to put on my giant headphones and rock out to my Philip Glass station while I write this week, so suck my balls, IT).
Thinking about how much I hate the new East Ave Wegmans. I'm sorry, I've tried but I just can't seem to get on board. I don't know what it is about it, but it feels like a cold, suburban factory to me. And every time I'm there, that goddamn rooster won't stop crowing. It's enough to drive a girl to shop at TOPS!
Wishing we had $10,000 saved up so we could just slap a down payment down on a house and move. I/we really want a house and even though we got a nice chunk of change from wedding cards, it still feels like it'll take forever to save up enough for a respectful down payment. Also, it would be super awesome if someone could pay off all my/our debt please thanks okay bye.
Hoping that our fridge is not broken, because our landlord totally blows at responding to me whenever I try to contact him (see "Wishing" section above). We've got some serious condensation issues up in there, people, and I need to make sure that my chilly items remain cool during this time of oppressive heat.
Wearing black skinny jeans and a striped 3/4-length shirt, thank you. I'm looking tres French today.
Loving Jeffrey. Being married to him is the effin' bomb. I get squishy whenever I glance at his left hand and see that ring on it... gyullllll!
Feeling a mixture of overwhelmed-ness (I'm making words up) and motivation. I'm feeling the need to finally get my house in completely organizational order now that the dust is finally settling on a VERY busy Spring (what with doing 2 shows back-to-back, transitioning from one very busy job to a promoted - and even more intense - position, and the whole wedding thing). We have piles of stuff that need to be put away, closets that are bursting at the seams (half of that shit is going to Goodwill, I swear to God...), and new wedding gifts that need to replace old household items, which need to then find homes (I guess we'll add "plan and host a garage sale" to the list of things to do this summer). There's so much to do, I don't even know where to start, but I'm itching to get everything settled and organized. This may take days. Even weeks. If you don't hear from me until August, assume I've died in the hoard and send Jeff a sensible sympathy pie.
Thinking about how much I hate the new East Ave Wegmans. I'm sorry, I've tried but I just can't seem to get on board. I don't know what it is about it, but it feels like a cold, suburban factory to me. And every time I'm there, that goddamn rooster won't stop crowing. It's enough to drive a girl to shop at TOPS!
Wishing we had $10,000 saved up so we could just slap a down payment down on a house and move. I/we really want a house and even though we got a nice chunk of change from wedding cards, it still feels like it'll take forever to save up enough for a respectful down payment. Also, it would be super awesome if someone could pay off all my/our debt please thanks okay bye.
Hoping that our fridge is not broken, because our landlord totally blows at responding to me whenever I try to contact him (see "Wishing" section above). We've got some serious condensation issues up in there, people, and I need to make sure that my chilly items remain cool during this time of oppressive heat.
Wearing black skinny jeans and a striped 3/4-length shirt, thank you. I'm looking tres French today.
Loving Jeffrey. Being married to him is the effin' bomb. I get squishy whenever I glance at his left hand and see that ring on it... gyullllll!
Feeling a mixture of overwhelmed-ness (I'm making words up) and motivation. I'm feeling the need to finally get my house in completely organizational order now that the dust is finally settling on a VERY busy Spring (what with doing 2 shows back-to-back, transitioning from one very busy job to a promoted - and even more intense - position, and the whole wedding thing). We have piles of stuff that need to be put away, closets that are bursting at the seams (half of that shit is going to Goodwill, I swear to God...), and new wedding gifts that need to replace old household items, which need to then find homes (I guess we'll add "plan and host a garage sale" to the list of things to do this summer). There's so much to do, I don't even know where to start, but I'm itching to get everything settled and organized. This may take days. Even weeks. If you don't hear from me until August, assume I've died in the hoard and send Jeff a sensible sympathy pie.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Currently This Week
Reading my Facebook newsfeed. My sister gave me a book when I was at her house last weekend and I'm just waiting for a free afternoon to sit outside in the sunshine and dive in.
Writing blog posts. I'm trying to be better about posting more regularly, folks, I swear. Look at me-- 2 days in a row!
Eating lots of sandwiches. They are easy and inexpensive. And we had a lot of boxed lunches leftover from a luncheon the other day, so my life is turkey and ham sandwiches right now.
Listening to the sound of air-conditioning and clickety-clackety computer keys at work... because our IT guy TOOK AWAY MY PANDORA-LISTENING ABILITIES! That's right- streaming music on our computers is now forbidden, which totally bums me out because that is how I WORK, MAN. Now I find myself feeling very distracted and scatterbrained while I sit here working at my desk- now I hear everything that anyone in our hallways says (and there are some interesting things said), I get distracted by the sound of my own loud and fast typing, and I find my mind wandering more. I need my Thomas Newman station baaaaack! And I've already tried streaming Pandora on my iPhone with not so great results. Blerg.
Thinking about scheduling a massage for this Saturday after my morning lessons. I've got a nice little window of time from 11am-6pm and could definitely use 60 minutes of zone-out time!
Wishing I had more time to invest in myself right now.
Hoping that the Etsy seller we bought Jeff's wedding ring from will be able to make it and ship it to us in time for the wedding. Apparently she's on vacation till June 3rd and it takes 4-5 weeks for her to make/ship products... which puts us just a couple of days before the wedding. Here's hoping she can rush the order for us so we get it in time!
Wearing a pair of stinky, worn-out silver ballet flats that are definitely on their very last leg.
Loving our new sheets and pillows. Jeff and I went out and purchased a set of sheets off of our registry (we cracked... our old sheets had holes in them and I couldn't take it anymore) and fluffy new pillows and THEY ARE AMAZING. I've always felt that you should really treat yo'self when it comes to your bed-- you spend 1/3 of your life in bed and getting good sleep is EXTREMELY important to the quality of your life during your waking hours, so it's worth it to invest in your bedding. And let me tell you-- our recent purchases are making a big difference in how hard I've been konking out each night. I love it I love it I love it. Bed is my happy place.
Feeling excited for our wedding. Only 38 days from today! We made some leaps in the last week by purchasing our wedding rings, sending in contracts and payments for the florist and the ice cream truck people (oh, the glorious ice cream truck, I cannot wait for thee!), purchasing the rest of my attire/accessories, following-up with guests for RSVPs (due this Saturday), and reaching out to the caterer to finalize details. Now we can move onto the next chunk of tasks to be conquered! 38 days is going to zoom by- I feel like just yesterday I was excitedly preaching "Only 70 days"!
Writing blog posts. I'm trying to be better about posting more regularly, folks, I swear. Look at me-- 2 days in a row!
Eating lots of sandwiches. They are easy and inexpensive. And we had a lot of boxed lunches leftover from a luncheon the other day, so my life is turkey and ham sandwiches right now.
Listening to the sound of air-conditioning and clickety-clackety computer keys at work... because our IT guy TOOK AWAY MY PANDORA-LISTENING ABILITIES! That's right- streaming music on our computers is now forbidden, which totally bums me out because that is how I WORK, MAN. Now I find myself feeling very distracted and scatterbrained while I sit here working at my desk- now I hear everything that anyone in our hallways says (and there are some interesting things said), I get distracted by the sound of my own loud and fast typing, and I find my mind wandering more. I need my Thomas Newman station baaaaack! And I've already tried streaming Pandora on my iPhone with not so great results. Blerg.
Thinking about scheduling a massage for this Saturday after my morning lessons. I've got a nice little window of time from 11am-6pm and could definitely use 60 minutes of zone-out time!
Wishing I had more time to invest in myself right now.
Hoping that the Etsy seller we bought Jeff's wedding ring from will be able to make it and ship it to us in time for the wedding. Apparently she's on vacation till June 3rd and it takes 4-5 weeks for her to make/ship products... which puts us just a couple of days before the wedding. Here's hoping she can rush the order for us so we get it in time!
Wearing a pair of stinky, worn-out silver ballet flats that are definitely on their very last leg.
Loving our new sheets and pillows. Jeff and I went out and purchased a set of sheets off of our registry (we cracked... our old sheets had holes in them and I couldn't take it anymore) and fluffy new pillows and THEY ARE AMAZING. I've always felt that you should really treat yo'self when it comes to your bed-- you spend 1/3 of your life in bed and getting good sleep is EXTREMELY important to the quality of your life during your waking hours, so it's worth it to invest in your bedding. And let me tell you-- our recent purchases are making a big difference in how hard I've been konking out each night. I love it I love it I love it. Bed is my happy place.
Feeling excited for our wedding. Only 38 days from today! We made some leaps in the last week by purchasing our wedding rings, sending in contracts and payments for the florist and the ice cream truck people (oh, the glorious ice cream truck, I cannot wait for thee!), purchasing the rest of my attire/accessories, following-up with guests for RSVPs (due this Saturday), and reaching out to the caterer to finalize details. Now we can move onto the next chunk of tasks to be conquered! 38 days is going to zoom by- I feel like just yesterday I was excitedly preaching "Only 70 days"!
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Things I am looking forward to...
Things I am looking forward to doing this summer once I get my life back next week...
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| Our new cute porch. |
- Sitting in the sunshine.
- Sitting on our cute new front porch.
- Sitting.
- Putting our new Expedit bookcase from Ikea together and sorting all of Jeff's records into it (thus getting rid of the 4 plastic milk crates full of records that currently line the perimeter of our dining room).
- Spring cleaning and getting our house super organized.
- Cooking REAL food! Like chicken! And actual things! For dinners and such!
- Reading books. Thick ones. With paper.
- Going on summer adventures with Jeffrey to places like the zoo, parks, the beach, etc.
- Finally hanging the shelves in the living room and accessorizing them accordingly.
- Planting flowers and playing in the dirt.
- Hitting the drive-in.
- Having the time to finish wedding plans without having to cram tasks into a 45-minute window in between work, rehearsals, lessons, and performances.
- Hopefully going camping for the first time in years.
- Actually seeing shows... as an audience member.
- Going on our honeymoon and having 5 days to do whatever we feel like doing in a totally new place. This will be our first real vacation together!
- Baking. I have so many things I want to bake but I just haven't had the time!
- Getting my ass back to the gym (which I will have to do because of the aforementioned baked goods).
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Fatty Intervention
I've been feeling like a busted can of biscuits lately and that feeling slapped me in the face last night during rehearsal for Steel Magnolias. Our costumer came to rehearsal with stacks of things for each of us to try on- my stack was entirely pink, of course. I took my pile to the lobby bathroom (no, I am not one of those actresses who just whips off their clothes and walks around freely in their underwear in front of everyone) and grabbed the only pair of pants in the bunch.... which were a size 16. Instantly, my heart dropped out of my butt and I thought to myself "Do I really look like I should wear a size 16?". I put them on and was a bit relieved to find that they were a little too baggy to be a passable fit, but still... my heart was on the floor of that dirty little theatre bathroom. I grabbed a shirt from the stack- a pink polo shirt... in a size XL. Really? Is this how people see me? Is this how they quite literally size me up? I walked out of my makeshift dressing room feeling completely frumpy and defeated- not at all the confident stylish young woman I have been cast to portray. And not at all the confident stylish young woman I used to be...
Four years ago, I was fit-- I could run 5 miles in one stretch pretty easily (and did- around 4 times a week), I lifted free weights twice a week, and though I wasn't totally toned, I was quite lean. Though other areas of my life were a bit of a mess during that time, I had somehow managed to incorporate fitness into my regular routine and within 4 months of starting, I looked pretty awesome. And that made me feel pretty awesome! My life changed drastically right around when this photo was taken and slowly I lost the time and motivation to keep up with it.
Now, four years later, I'm the heaviest I've ever been- nearly 170 pounds for anyone who's keeping track. I have a year-long gym membership, which I've used many many times this Spring, but I still seem to hover between 163-168. I see all of these amazing before and after photos of my friends posted on Facebook and they are completely amazing-- I am incredibly impressed and envious of their successful transformations, but I am struggling to find the time and energy to make fitness and diet my major priority right now. Certainly there should be no excuses, for the friends I mentioned all have busy lives as well, but I'm finding that working a full day at a stressful and sedentary job (which is currently at its most stressful as I plan the biggest Geva fundraiser of the year AND transition into my new position), keeping up with an apartment overrun by three cats, rehearsing a show, teaching private lessons and planning a very imminent wedding has depleted me of any and all energy at the end of the day. Any slice of time I have for myself is usually spent resting on the couch with Jeff or sleeping so I don't run myself completely into the ground. As much as I try to laugh-off or joke about my body, the whole thing makes me feel incredibly sad and hopeless. I feel ten-thousand miles away from being that person I used to be. After the costume debacle last night, I had a terrible dream where I just stood in the center of a circle and anonymous voices all around me chanted "you look like shit" at me, over and over and over again until I finally woke up. It was horrible.
So, because of this realization, I am giving myself a fatty intervention. I have made the decision that, after Steel Magnolias, I am taking a break from performing so I can focus on my health and my badly bruised body image. I am committing to replacing rehearsal time with activity time-- either in the gym or out in nature. I am committing to ditching soda. I am committing to investing my time and attention into working on those things about my appearance that I've completely lost pride in (which isn't limited to my weight-- last month, someone told me that my hair, which used to inspire envy, looked like seaweed). I am tired of not feeling great about myself. I'm tired of putting what little energy I have into finding ways to hide myself (since when have I been one to hide??). I am terrified that I will get my wedding photos back and I'll be too distracted and ashamed of my doughy arms and trunk-like torso to be able to display them with pride. I know I've said it in previous posts, but seriously guys- this shit ends NOW. I need to find myself again under all this extra physical and mental weight- it's unbearably oppressive and it's taken its toll on my body and my sense of self-worth. So with all that in mind, I officially announce that my next performance will be the role of "Mary" in the one-woman show Fatty Intervention: The Quest to be a Healthy Bitch!, which will run indefinitely.
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| This was me in May 2009, at around 138lbs |
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| Me, last November, at my 10-year reunion |
So, because of this realization, I am giving myself a fatty intervention. I have made the decision that, after Steel Magnolias, I am taking a break from performing so I can focus on my health and my badly bruised body image. I am committing to replacing rehearsal time with activity time-- either in the gym or out in nature. I am committing to ditching soda. I am committing to investing my time and attention into working on those things about my appearance that I've completely lost pride in (which isn't limited to my weight-- last month, someone told me that my hair, which used to inspire envy, looked like seaweed). I am tired of not feeling great about myself. I'm tired of putting what little energy I have into finding ways to hide myself (since when have I been one to hide??). I am terrified that I will get my wedding photos back and I'll be too distracted and ashamed of my doughy arms and trunk-like torso to be able to display them with pride. I know I've said it in previous posts, but seriously guys- this shit ends NOW. I need to find myself again under all this extra physical and mental weight- it's unbearably oppressive and it's taken its toll on my body and my sense of self-worth. So with all that in mind, I officially announce that my next performance will be the role of "Mary" in the one-woman show Fatty Intervention: The Quest to be a Healthy Bitch!, which will run indefinitely.
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