She got it from her Mama!

I'm mouthy. I'm sassy. I'm "vocal" (which is probably the most *professional* way to say it). Whatever you want to call it, I just can't stop myself from speaking my mind.

Perhaps is because I was raised in a household under a strong woman. My mom, who is a native Texan, was once publicly nicknamed "The Mouth from the South", a label that I have always proudly thought of as a fabulous compliment. Now that I'm an adult, I am becoming increasingly aware of how much influence my assertive mother has had on the woman I've become.

I have learned that it's important to stand up for yourself. You need to be your own champion. In the end, I believe that people will respect you more for speaking your mind and advocating for what you believe to be right and true. Sure, not everyone is going to agree with you and you probably will step on some toes along the way, but at least you'll be sure of your integrity as an honest, free-thinking individual. You have opinions, thoughts and feelings-- they are worth hearing. You have a voice-- you are supposed to use it.

As I am growing older, I'm learning how to use that voice more effectively. The hot-headedness of my youth is still there, no doubt, but I'm figuring out how to temper it with patience, professionalism, and intelligent (as opposed to impulsive) argument. I'm nowhere near perfect, but I'm getting much better at asserting myself in a more judicious and savvy manner. And I think the ability to speak your mind in an intelligent and firm way makes your argument, whatever it is, even more compelling.

So when I see behavior or practices that I find unprofessional, inappropriate or unfair (at work), or unkind, hypocritical or hurtful (in life), I don't hesitate to speak up. You can call me a whistleblower or a bitch, you can accuse me of being sassy or bold or overconfident. I really don't care. I will take all of those labels as a fabulous compliment because I know that I am using the voice that I have a right to express, the voice that I am intelligent and confident enough to share, the voice that my mother taught me to use. Not for anyone else, but for myself. I think THIS is what it means to be a real woman.

So Happy Mother's Day to my mom, "The Mouth from the South" herself, who didn't just teach her daughters the importance of using their brains, but also the significance of being a little mouthy! Thanks mom!

Spaces that inspire me...

Anyone who has seen my apartment knows that I like to spend a lot of my "disposable" (okay, so sometimes I dip into funds beyond the "disposable") money on decorating my living space. I can't help it-- I love coming home to a space that is 1) my own, and 2) beautiful. I take great pride in the fact that my home doesn't look at like the haphazard apartment of a 20-something-- everything goes and looks finished and intentional. Yes, I want my home to look like it came out of a freakin' magazine.

For over a year now, I've been collecting images of rooms that inspire me. I could spend hours and hours perusing google image search results for "beautiful bedrooms" and "neutral living rooms". I've got an entire folder on my macbook dedicated to "Inspirational Images"- it's like my own personal Pinterest (which I started before there was Pinterest, thank you very much). These images have acted as my guide to decorating my space and as the inspiration for many of my DIY projects over the last year...

The image that inspired my DIY headboard

The living room that inspired the colors and overall look of my apartment
(this was the image that made me determined to get my own lady apartment in the first place!)

The image that convinced me that it was okay to paint
my old wooden dresser a charming shade of aqua.

Everything about this screams "MY BEDROOM"-
 the headboard, the "anal-bead" lamp, the light rug,
the starburst mirror above the headboard, the smokey grey walls...

Inspiration for my DIY sink skirt with box pleats
(perfect for hiding Bebe's kitty litter!)

Inspiration for the framed "doodle art" in my dining room (thanks mom!)

The perfect dark grey for my bedroom- Behr's "Creek Bend"

Happiness is...

I am, admittedly, a bit of a grumbler- sometimes it feels like all I do is complain, especially about work, sometimes about being tired, and every now and then about some aspect of the creative projects I'm working on (gasp!). Due to some "personalities" at work, the last few months have seen an upswing in the frequency and intensity of my frustration and subsequent whining.

That being said, I can't help but notice that I feel happier lately... much happier! I attribute this to a few things...

1) Sunshine. God, things seem so much easier when the sun is shining brightly, the sky is blue, and there's a warm breeze. I don't know WHAT is going on with the Rochester weather this winter, but I think Spring has officially sprung-- we've been basking in the daily glow of 60-70 degree temperatures and sunny days for a couple of weeks now. If this is global warming, I'm okay with it. Everything just seems to much more carefree when the weather is beautiful like that-- makes me just want to fling open my windows to let the breeze gently blow my gauzy curtains as I laze around a freshly cleaned apartment. It makes walking to and from my car a pleasure every day. Things that might normally irritate me are met with a "who cares- it's perfect outside today" attitude. I strangely feel so much more productive, and that makes me happy. 

2) Forcing myself to start my day earlier. I know... anyone who has ever had to deal with me first thing in the morning knows that I am the poster child for the "not a morning person" movement. My parents have a home video of me when I was 3, sitting at the breakfast table eating Lucky Charms in my pjs, and after having tried to ignore my mom's attempts to engage me in conversation, I glared straight into the camera and grumpily uttered the words "don't.bug.me." and went back to eating my marshmallows. True story- I have the proof on video. Despite this aversion to all things early, I've been forcing myself to "get up" when I "wake up", which means the difference between resignedly rolling out of bed at 8:30am (I'm supposed to be at work at 9am) and starting my day at 7ish. That's a big difference! Think what I could do with that extra time-- I can eat breakfast if I want to, I actually have time to make myself look polished and put-together (and when you look great, you feel great), I can watch an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians, I can tidy my apartment... so many possibilities! Now I get to work right on time, if not early, I don't come home to a disaster every day, and I get to spend the day looking nice and not thrown together. I've noticed that I actually feel less tired throughout the days when I don't allow myself to go back to sleep until the last possible moment. All those things make me feel good!

3) Butterflies. You know the ones, right? The ones that are caused by seeing or talking to or thinking about someone you reeeeeally like? Yep- I've got those... ! 2011 was a very tough year for love for this adorkable gal- lots of baggage to wade through, lots of soul-searching, lots of dating attempts, lots of worrying that my previous experiences had left me permanently broken in the relationship department, lots of lonely cat-lady behavior (I may or may not have taped a music video set to Celine Dion's "All By Myself" over the course of many solitary nights last Fall... the music video features an obscenely large bag of cotton candy, an entire spectrum of sweatpants, my couch, my cat, wine... need I continue?). But 2012 is a new year, and a little romance finally found me when I was least expecting it! It feels good to be a genuinely smitten kitten again and I'm so relieved to find that all the nervousness that I've been holding onto when it comes to getting back into the game has been replaced with excitement and straight-up happiness. I feel like a school girl again! Hah!

4) Babies. I love babies. In fact, I love them so much that I would embark upon a 6-hour solo road trip after working a full day and going to a dentist appointment just to see one. Well, I wouldn't do that for just ANY baby, you're right. But I would TOTALLY do it for MY baybee, my nephew Ben! And that's just what I'll be doing tonight- picking up and driving to Philly all by myself right after my dentist appointment this afternoon. Yes, I will be driving with a half-numb face for the better part of the first hour (let's just hope that my coffee doesn't dribble down my chin while I'm driving) and I won't be arriving at my destination until 11pm because of my late start, but it's totally worth it. I haven't seen Ben since Christmas (iChats don't count) and the pictures my sister posts are only getting more and more adorable. The last time we Skyped, we had a good time making fart noises (okay, I was the one making the fart noises, but he was enjoying them) and shaking our heads "no" vigorously (his newest trick). I can't wait to play with him in person! He's the cutest thing ever and I've made sure to charge up my camera because this aunt is gonna be takin' a lot of photos and videos this weekend! Can't wait!

       So there are my 4 current big-time "happy"-makers. Honorable mentions go out to iced cappuccinos, my upcoming European vacation in less than 2 months (more on that in a subsequent post!), fresh flower arrangements, $5 dvds, good hair days, naps, my new piping gun for decorating baked goods, compliments, free movie passes, free time, online shopping, and goat cheese.   :-)

Treat Yo'self!

If there's one thing I've learned over the last year or so, it's that sometimes you've just gotta treat yo'self!  Treats come in many different forms-- enjoying a favorite meal, taking an obscenely long shower, blowing a paycheck on a new wardrobe, spending 4 uninterrupted hours playing Donkey Kong, snuggling up with a pile of dvds and a handful of Oreos... basically anything that you do for yourself that recharges your batteries and leaves you feeling fabulously content. 

After a rather stressful week (opening a show, having my wallet stolen, signing over the deed to my old house, dealing with conflicts at work, cranking out a huge grant, having to walk home from Geva after sitting in a line of cars in the parking garage for 45 minutes, only to have my car run out of gas while I was driving on 490E- yes, I was literally on my way to the gas station), I decided that today needed to be a "Treat Yo'self" day!

Here's my luxurious "Treat Yo'self" Day in a nutshell:

- The day would have begun much later, had I been allowed to actually sleep-in. Bebe had other ideas, however. I woke up at 8am to the sounds of Bea knocking each of my books, one-by-one off of the bookshelf next to my bed. One-by-one. Meticulously. Until they were all on the floor in a giant pile. Since I wasn't going to fall back asleep any time soon, I whipped out Mockingjay, the final book in The Hunger Games series and snuggled under my covers. There's something amazing about curling up in bed with an engrossing book, no pressure to start your day.

- A haircut and blow-out, courtesy of Stephanie at Shear Ego Salon. Stephanie is awesome, not just because she knows exactly how to make my hair look effortlessly bouncy, shiny and frizz-free, but because she's just friggin' cool. I've never been one to enjoy participating in small-talk with hairdressers, but Stephanie remembers everything about what's going on in my life and actually listens and contributes to the conversation. It's like going in and dishing to a fabulous unbiased friend for 30 minutes and coming out looking (and feeling) like a rockstar. Love her. I also like going in looking like a raggamuffin and having all the snotty stylists ignore me and then emerging from Stephanie's chairs to "ohmygosh"es and "wow- your hair is beautiful, what an amazing color" etc. That's right!

- A luxury pedicure at the tiny Korean nail salon in Brighton. The walls may be painted a sickening shade of peach and the posters are most definitely from the 1980s, but these gals know their stuff. I brought my book with me, as I was getting dangerously close to the climax and NEEDED to know what was going to happen next. I sat in my leather massage armchair while the lady set to work. The luxury pedicure there is amazing-- in addition to all the normal pedicure things, they do a lavender scrub on your feet and legs, then cover your feet with a green minty mud mask and wrap them in hot towels and stick them in baggies. Your feet instantly start tingling (and that doesn't stop for a good 3 hours after the pedicure). While the mask does its work, they massage your legs with lavender-scented lotions and oils. Then they liberate your feet from the baggies and massage them... amazing. It was the loveliest thing ever to just sit there (with perfect hair thanks to Stephanie), reading my book, while my tired legs/feet got the full service. 35 minutes of bliss, I tell you.

- I paid a delivery man to bring me Pizza Hut at my house. <drool>

- Curling up on the couch in an oversized sweater and sweatpants with my little space heater pointed on my toes and the window-blinds open so the glorious afternoon sunshine could stream through. Bebe curled up on my chest and together we finished my book (perhaps she felt bad about killing all my other books this morning), followed by a leisurely trip through the cable channels, until we landed on A League of their Own, one of my favorite movies.

And that's where I am right now, friends. Every now and then we all need to take a day (or even a morning or just an afternoon) to treat ourselves to the special little things that provide us with relief and rejuvenation. <Sigh> Too bad I can't get away with doing this EVERY Saturday!

Git yo' Headshots did!

Hello dear readers!
     Those of you devoted to this blog (hi mom!) will remember that I posted a few weeks ago with some "life renovation" plans for the new year-- 1) Get my artistic shit together, and 2) re-paint my bedroom. Well, I'm very proud to announce that great advancements have been made over the last month in both of these areas! I did, in fact, re-paint my bedroom just a few weeks ago and it is now a lovely shade of dark grey (specifically, Behr's "Creek Bend")... before and after pictures to be revealed in a subsequent blog post- stay tuned. AND, last Friday I had professional headshots taken with Tammy Swales, who is probably the BEST photographer in Rochester.

      I have never had headshots taken before. The shot I've been using pretty much my entire adult life was a black & white snapshot that I took of myself in the hallway outside of my bedroom at 1am. Definitely not professional, but passable. I've been lusting after real headshots these last couple of years, silently admiring and envying the colorful, glossy prints of my colleagues (which, hung next to my lazy shot, made mine look even more amateurish). I really wanted a colorful, glossy professional shot of my own and I wanted to unveil it at the opening of The Little Dog Laughed on March 3rd. The time had come. I took my rewards check from my health insurance company (thanks, MVP!) and scheduled an appointment with Ms. Swales.

     Of course, my thoughts immediately turned to "ohmygahdwhatshouldiwear?" and "jesuschristihopemyfacedoesn'tbreakoutthedaybeforetheshoot" and "shouldiwhitenmyteeth?" and "ooohishouldhavestuckwiththatpersonaltrainer"... and "doipartmyhairinthecenteranddobluntbangsorpartitonthesideanddoasoftswoopbang?"... so many decisions. I'm not qualified to make all of these decisions. So I enlisted the help of professionals where I could, booking a hair appointment for the morning of the shoot (because I should not be left to my own devices) and persuading my friend Robyn Fazio to do my makeup (cause Robyn is a professional, yo'). Now all I really had to worry about was clothes. Being the redhead that I am, I packed a suitcase full of greens, blues, purples and a token coral shirt just in case. Also, a pair of bright blue peep-toe pumps... because shoes are important... when you're shooting a headshot... ?

     I awoke that morning, dragged my lazy ass to my car with my suitcase in tow, and made my way to the hair salon. My usual hairwizard, Stephanie, wasn't there that morning. Neither was my go-to back-up hairmaster, Valentina (who is Bosnian and beautiful, but only ever nods and says "yes. good." in a soft and deep accent). So I had Joyce. Ohhhhhh Joyce. Never again, Joyce. It's not that you were bad, you just... you just didn't get me, Joyce. Or my bangs.

     Then I sped off to Tammy's studio, where I was to meet Robyn for "face-fixing". This was the best-- I got to sit in a comfy chair and drink coffee through a straw while Robyn tickled my face with her brushes and gossiped with me. I could do that forever! We got all caught up and laughed a lot, and she did things to my face that I didn't even think were necessary to beauty but so definitely are I now realize. Then Tammy pulled up a chair and gabbed with us for a while. I performed my Hamlet rap for them while Robyn spray-painted my face. I confided in them my doubts about Joyce and her ability with my bangs. They assured me I was fine.

    Until we started shooting... THEN they started cursing Joyce. "Damn you, Joyce!" was bellowed more than once as Robyn repeatedly popped into the shot to adjust my wayward fringe between camera clicks. We shot for two hours, accompanied by an underscore of disco classics and JLo jams. Tammy was awesome and Robyn was an all-star, wielding a blowdryer at the perfect angle for a little Beyonce hair-fanning action where necessary, hiding unruly bra straps, and employing the use of clamps on the back of my shirt to "tighten that shit"! We finished the shoot with a series outside of Tammy's building. As I posed on the sidewalk, a Waste Management truck drove up and parked right behind me. The drivers winked and pointed. I hope Tammy managed to get that truck in the shot... it would be very "me", I suppose. Homeless Steve walked by, but we did not invite him to join the shoot. Poor Steve. He just wants to be a part of the art.

    So now I have to wait till Monday to go through all the shots and pick which ones I want. In the meantime, Tammy sent me this teaser....

      Sha-ZAM! Can't wait to see what the rest look like! I'll report back once I get the final digital files of the ones I pick! In the meantime, I encourage everyone to check out http://www.tammyswales.com/ to see more of Tammy's work (and I recommend any Rochester actors work with her for headshots... she's awesome!) and http://www.robynfazio.com/ to see Robyn's makeup artistry (DO IT!). AWESOME!

   

Mary's Musical Meowmers!

I love lolcats. I love sondheimcats. If you don't have any idea what the hell I'm talking about, google them and thank me four hours later when you're done compulsively clicking "next" to reveal a brand new page of adorable silliness. I love them so much, in fact, that they've inspired me to create my own version, giving me an excuse to scour the interwebs for cute kitteh pictures and pair them with captions from appropriate songs in the music theatre canon. I give you... "Mary's Musical Meowmers"...

Happy Gevaversary!

Today marks 1 year working at Geva! I made it! Weeeeeee!

I still remember my first day, 'twas a typical blustery Rochester winter's day and I wore my "artsy" black dress with the sheer blue and green print overlay with blouson sleeves, paired with black tights and patent leather t-strap pumps. I meant business. (fast-forward one year to the day and I'm sitting at my desk wearing black leggings, a red tunic, an oversized fuzzy sweater, and my shit-kicker boots... oh how our standards for ourselves fade with time...)

Milestones of this nature prompt me to pause and reflect on my experiences over the last year. Here's a brief review- since February 7th of 2011, I have:

•  gotten my own apartment, which I've been able to decorate gorgeously (hooray!)
•  been cast in my first film project (yay!)
•  finally got health insurance again (yay!)
•  had my heart broken into a million tiny pieces (alright, not so 'yay!'), which ultimately taught me a lot about myself (okay, maybe that part's a 'yay')
•  played Dot/Marie and Sunday in the Park with George and restored my faith in myself as an artist(DOUBLE yay!)
•  started getting pretty regular manicures, pedicures and massages ("if you can't love yo'self, how the hell you gonna love somebody else? can I git an amen?!")
•  became an Aunt- shout-out to my baybee, Ben (who will be 7 months old tomorrow)!
•  finally got my own pet, the freedom cat I've been threatening to get for years, sweet little Bebe!
•  ran a 5k
•  tried Match.com
•  decided Match.com sucked and gave up on boys completely
•  decided that maybe boys aren't so bad and started dating again here and there
•  ultimately decided not to focus on having or being in a relationship anymore (which was the best decision of all)
•  got cast in my first straight-play in over 6 years and dove back into all the things I've missed about plays that make the experience so different from working on musicals.
•  started a blog!
•  got a gym membership and actually paid someone to kick my ass while I was there.
•  traveled to NYC to ring in the new year and reconnect with old friends
•  expanded my creative gigs to include readings at Geva
•  broke a toof, which acted as the catalyst to a long string of dental appointments. I feel confident in saying that my relationship with my dentist has been my longest, most serious and committed relationship of 2011. 

      It's been a busy year filled with MAJOR transitions, and even though there have been a few serious potholes here and there, I'd say that I came out pretty okay in the end! It's hard to believe how much has changed in the time since I got this Geva job and found out I would be returning to Rochester. But I guess that's what growing up is all about! Makes you wonder what will come between now and my TWO-year Gevaversary! (and God, please let there be a two-year Gevaversary... I know I'm sassy during meetings and that I sometimes don't check my voicemail until after lunch, but I just re-signed my lease and this whole paycheck thing has really been working out for me!)